Post by Shura on Sept 10, 2015 17:12:33 GMT -5
We have to part again, don’t we?
She heard the bittersweetness in his voice. With every fiber of its being, Seryu’s body rebelled against the heartache the sadness in his voice had caused her. It screamed ‘this is not right’, but Seryu feared to face the truth. This wasn’t right, now was it? None of it seemed right to her, none of it made sense but a better part of her knew she’d have to speak to him, make him understand and maybe her words would soothe his pain and make him smile that wonderful smile of his again. Maybe they’d both learn something from this, maybe Seryu wasn’t the only one who’d lost something.
But then they kissed each other and all their worries seemed to fade away for a few precious moments. Moments in which they were all that mattered. It was only the two of them, together, happy, how it should be and how it always should have been! Seconds passed after she broke the kiss apart and Seryu had never hated herself more than she did now. Not because it felt like betrayal, not because she’d done anyone wrong but because this kiss was the only thing ‘right’ in her life and she felt like she deserved it. It made him happy too, so she wondered why they stopped.
“You’re a fantastic kisser,” she suddenly confessed and quickly turned her face away to hide the reddened cheeks from his sight. Much like Jian, Seryu was also glad that the two of them could spend some time together just talking. The world around them seemed peaceful enough and she wouldn’t waste the time they had. Instead, she’d put it to good use. It seemed that Jian enjoyed hearing her opinion, so she decided to speak openly to him. “I trust you,” she said and smiled cheerily at the young man. “Wait a moment, please.” Without a word, Seryu disappeared behind a few bushes and emerged in her real body instead, leaving the empty Gigai behind. Struck by awkwardness, she tiptoed around a little before seating herself right next to him. “This is what you wanted, right?” Slowly, the metallic arm slid forward and took his hand. She couldn’t feel his skin -- the arm in itself was completely numb, a mere piece of metal after all -- but she wanted him to feel what was now part of her body.
“Nagisa isn’t my enemy,” Seryu took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. “I don’t know what an Inner Hollow is but if something was to consume her, I wouldn’t fight her. I would fight whatever disgusting creature is trying to take my friend away from me, and she knows that! She knows that she can come to me when she needs help, I would never betray her!” It was true, right? Seryu wouldn’t betray her friends. She wouldn’t betray Jian either. “Then there are these scars.” She sighed and began to remove the armor from her uniform, carefully placing it aside so she could put it right back on afterwards. “I don’t know where I got them from. I don’t remember. Nothing has happened to me recently, if I recall correctly, so they have to be old.”
And then she swallowed and lifted up her skirt.
“I’ve noticed they looked weird. They are basically everywhere.” The scars grew up to her inner thighs, closer to her private parts than they should have been, if they were but mere battle wounds. “I think if something was to hurt me down there, I’d remember. And this arm,” Seryu let go of the skirt and began unscrewing the prosthesis instead. “It is strangely useless for my taste. It’s just a piece of metal, it can’t do me anything good. It breaks easily. It’s almost as if this is nothing but a.. prototype. I know myself very well and I’m definitely not satisfied with something like this.” She looked at Jian and pressed her lips together. “What I’m trying to say is that.. if this arm is really as old of a wound as I believe.. I’ve had enough time to make it more useful and improve it. But I haven’t. Why?”
The silence that followed was quickly interrupted by Seryu continuing to talk. “Another thing that I’ve noticed and found quite off is our relationship. You almost made it sound as if it was...difficult for us to stay together and love each other. You made it sound as if we were more separated than together. I know this sounds very odd, but it makes me wonder what kind of person I am from your point of view. Or rather, what kind of person I used to be.”
This was where things were slowly becoming more sensitive. What she was about to tell him might hurt his feelings, but if the previous version of herself wasn’t able to get over herself, Seryu had to do it now.
“Because I would have been able to spend time with you, as much as you’d like. Sure, it’s illegal but the conflict in itself is so minimalistic that it can hardly be considered a crime. It would have been fairly easy for me to hide my trips to the realm of the living as well. A friend of mine is basically… the manager of our security camera system, if that’s what you’d like to call it. I can come and see you whenever I’d like. I can stay with you for as long as I’d like right now.” She cleared her throat and took her hand into his. “It may sound ridiculous, but I could even bear you a child and say someone from Rukongai fathered it. Jian, what I’m trying to say is, that for a reason I cannot explain, I think the Seryu you remember tried to avoid you. She tried to keep herself far away from you and if I look at my own body, I can understand why.”
Fear was a feeling everyone remembered and no one could ever forget.
“She’s afraid of being with you. She’s afraid of seeing you hurt. She’d rather shoulder the weight of the world alone, even if she knew you’d be able to help her and be with her.” Seryu closed her eyes and shook her head. “She can’t find the balance between support and self-sacrifice. I don’t know what happened in our past, but something must have left its scars on her soul. So much that she was willing to tear our hearts apart, all for the sake of keeping herself and thus the danger away from you.”
You’re sucking the life out of him.
“But she never managed to stay away from you. She loves you too much.”
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