Post by Fulfillment on Aug 31, 2013 19:18:44 GMT -5
Acting Captain of the Second Division, Lieutenant Chinda Kiriko, couldn't quite stop herself from remembering the conversation she had had with the Arrancar King during the long weeks and months of clean up duty in Soul Society. Much needed to be done in the aftermath of what was now referred to as the “Massacre of Seireitei” and she was often too busy to really focus on the powerful words she had exchanged with Tova. Kyousuke was still missing, though Kiriko couldn't imagine any difficulty that would get in the way of her Captain, and thus she was one of the few who regularly referred to his missing status as something that was just about to end. Several unfortunate fellows had quickly spread the tale of the repercussions after espousing rather negative views in her presence. It was preposterous, after all, that someone like Kyousuke would ever be under danger of losing a fight, or his life. Whatever it was that Tsukimiya-taichou was busy with, Kiriko knew how to keep order while he was gone.
And wasn't that an interesting occurrence? She had always squirmed internally, so uncomfortable with the inference that Kyousuke would often make – the idea that one day Kiriko herself would be capable of standing in his footsteps, of taking up the mantle of Captain. She'd never quite believed him, always so positive in her own weakness. But now that the event had passed, even if not in words, Kiriko found herself rather... pleased. The white haori on her back seemed to fit perfectly. And bloodstains be damned but she refused to replace it with a more pristine copy.
The days of regulation reports, barracks repair and personnel acquisition seemed finally to be abating. Kiriko had had to open the Nibantai's doors to more new recruits than she and Kyousuke had planned, but no one could have foreseen the damage of an all out attack on Seireitei. Really, it was somewhat interesting from a tactical point of view that most of the Divisions had been ransacked not just in numbers but physically. The once proud structures of the Gotei had been demolished and were only just now returning to their previous beauty. Kiriko was secretly proud that her own Division, the Second, had been up there near the top of the list when it came to the least amount of damage sustained. Though the Second had lost many more members compared to the other Divisions, all because of that still unexplained event that had left behind only the skeletal remains of many hundreds of Shinigami. Kiriko had been rather mum when they'd asked her for her report on the matter, she was sure her fellow Division mates who had died would have supported her in her silence – they'd served their purpose after all and secrecy was an important standard for the Second. One they could very well take to their grave.
Kiriko didn't really imagine that no one knew what had happened between her and Tova, the fight had certainly been somewhat loud and large. But she was secure in the knowledge that to all outside eyes Kiriko had fought her hardest against an insurmountable foe, her injuries attested to that easily enough. No one had to know about the end to their encounter, the lovely new blessing that the Arrancar King had left her with. Her and a few others it seemed, if his remarks had been anything to go by.
But hidden from the eyes of others as her secrets might be, inside was a different matter entirely. There was change, such bountiful change, it was almost as if she had been rebirthed in those few precious seconds. What had once been shameful weakness was shed, because it was all perspective after all! And what an ugly perspective she used to cling to, putting all of those nasty barriers in front of her until Kiriko had been nothing but a caged little girl. Not allowed to move or climb because of her own stupid rules, her own paltry expectations. But now! Now it was all different. She had smashed down those walls, broken past those barriers. Because life was too short to worry about it all, and Kiriko had long since stopped worrying after she and Tova had had their talk.
She was a new person now. That negativity that had held her back so often in the past was no longer of consequence. Kiriko knew the truth now, and it was blessedly simple. Happiness, family, these were the things of importance. Anything else, it was just garbage that needed to be swept away. And just as she had told Tova, Kiriko was starting to learn that the family she had gained that fateful day was more wonderful than she had ever imagined.
It felt as if she had had her toes cut off and only now had they regrown, like wiggling her feet in the sand on the beach or paddling through the water after trying to hard to swim without such appendages. It was a mercy, this new found connection. Gaikotsu-Aneue was the soft murmur of a summer's breeze in her ear, a constant companion that kept up a steady flow of conversation. Kiriko was never alone, not again. Because she had found something better than friends, better than allies and better than weak subordinates. She had found herself.
Kiriko hadn't even realized she had gone without, had never paid any attention to that longing half of her that desperately wished for the forgotten feeling of “toes.” But now that she had started to pay attention to her Zanpakutou Spirit, to actually sit and listen, to learn... Life would never be the same. There was so much Gaikotsu-Aneue had to tell her, so many stories and artful renditions. She couldn't believe that before she had hidden from the sword in fear, because even when Aneue was telling her the most bone-chilling bloody lesson, Kiriko could not help herself from grinning as her heart raced in excitement. Ohhh, the things she had forced herself to suppress before. She'd been such a child back then! It was funny, and she looked back at herself as if staring through centuries, a mature woman remembering when she was a toddler. How embarrassing that that had been herself only a few months prior! How had anyone put up with her hesitations, her uncertainty? She couldn't fathom it.
Oh Lord, it was lovely to finally be in control of things. Kiriko didn't wonder anymore, because she was now certain. Any choice she made would always be for the best, Kiriko simply made no mistakes. Anyone who said contrary just needed to find their way into an unmarked grave somewhere. Simple as pie! Rewriting her past and future, she had always tried to just be better without even realizing that she was already better! It was such a basic revelation, such a tiny thing really to have caused her all that anguish in the past. Kiriko couldn't believe she'd ever lived like that. How anyone could survive with their own cowardly weaknesses holding them back in such a manner, it would have been better if she'd just taken herself out so as not to embarrass anyone!
But none of that mattered anymore, because Tova had helped Kiriko realize reality. Come back to the real world. Settle on earth, so to speak. She was better than ever, perfection in its spiritual core. It wasn't about fighting, or measuring herself up against anyone else – Kiriko wasn't delusional, she didn't think she was suddenly any stronger. But it was more important than that, she knew that what had really mattered was what had changed. Her mindset, her mind. Kiriko wasn't a mess of hypocrisies anymore, nor a puddle of doubt. She was done wavering, done hemming and hawing. What she thought was right was exactly what she did now. And life was so much better this way!
Who cared what happened in between, it was the ends that justified the means. She'd learned that now, working with the Gotei. Gilgamesh himself, in his guilded little castle, he certainly reinforced that lesson upon everyone here during the Massacre. Hell, the man hadn't even made an appearance and what had the Shinigami done when they'd all come to the next day? Gone running to Gilgamesh to restore order and peace! The man who'd let them all suffer and die at the hands of an enemy only he could have handled. But she'd watched that all, she'd taken it in, and in doing so Kiriko had really marked her notes down well. It was all about power. No one here could question Gilgamesh, or even dare to overthrow him. So what other choice had they had? Running back like little dogs licking their underbellies was the only option for the Shinigami that remained, and it was as sickening as it was enlightening. Kiriko had known then that she was to be given a rather loose set of rules in the new age, everything seemed to grow slippery on their dastardly little slope towards Hell. But all that leeway, it only gave her room to spread her arms out and grow.
She was even hearing rumors now of another war, of the Shinigami waging war on the Human World. It was a ludicrous thought, silly even. That vast space was too much for even the training Shinigami to handle. But Kiriko kind of hoped it was true, just a little bit, because she was growing somewhat penned in inside Soul Society. With the repairs done, her attention kept wandering and escaping her little office space. She stretched her fingers and wiggled her toes... Something, something needed to happen. She had to move, or else she would start to lose her edge. Yes, something had to happen, and soon. Or else she was going to go find her own entertainment, and Kiriko was sure no one would really like that.
WC: 1661 | GP: 22 | Total GP: 22
