A question of Loyalty [houmaru/Kiriko]

Chinda Kiriko was... upset. Perturbed more truthfully. She had never quite felt this particular mix of anxiety and surprise before, a boiling caldron of discontent that made her nerves skitter and her heart thunder. It was her own fault, and she recognized that with a stern ability to point the blame both outwardly and inwardly with equal discretion. Her own fault for not paying more attention, and for taking her subordinates for granted. And yet, Kiriko had believed that once a cog was fully in place in the machine that was the Nibantai, that it would remain there and remain serviceable until such a time as she removed it or it expired.

That logic was proving to be somewhat unfounded, as one of the largest and most important cogs had slipped free and left a gaping hole in her plans and her organization. All of his own free well. Or apparent free well. Kiriko couldn't be totally certain, knowing that Ametsuchi had been bidden by the Captain Commander himself to take up his new 'promotion'. While she and Ine were on better terms, perhaps even equal terms now, she couldn't be certain that the man wasn't trying to subvert her while also working alongside her. He wasn't as simple as he played at being, nor was he the drunken fool she had taken him to be originally.

All the better for Soul Society, but all the more troubling for Kiriko herself. The reiatsu of her subordinate entered her range and she tried to calm the ticks in her fingers as he slowly approached the Command Annex and her office. Letting him wait one long drawn out second after knocking, she spoke out with a colorless and stern command, “Enter, Ametsuchi-san.”

Seeing him in the flesh, his dependable gait and his blank face, she couldn't help but realize that some small part of her took this change as a personal affront. An insult to herself and her leadership. Was his current position not enough? Had she somehow insulted him, or given him a reason to be displeased? Was she herself not the best leader that he could ask for? Betrayal was never sweet, but coming from the person she had believed least likely to do so it was all the sharper. A true blade to the back.

She stared at him, reigning in her oppressive reiatsu but letting it saturate this room and press down on him, letting her man realize just how displeased she was. Kiriko tried to stare through him as she could with all of her other men, and found it just that much more difficult when he calmly met her eyes with such inherent agency and trust. This was a reliable man. His very form was dependable. And yet his loyalty had been called into question. His faith.

She let the silence draw on until it was painful, but knew that he would never interrupt her impetuously. Houmaru was indeed the perfect specimen of her regime. It would be such a shame to lose him to the First. “You have put in a request to transfer to the Ichibantai,” she let the words fall like the earnest threat that they were, damning in their formation and meaning. “What is the meaning of this?” Kiriko had intended that to come out cold, fierce, perhaps even painfully blank, and yet she was surprised to note the honest touch of disbelief that colored those words. The authentic blush of anger and grievance. She hadn't wanted to burden him with her personal feelings, but apparently her control was not as good as she had thought it was.

A betrayal was to be expected. A betrayal from Ametsuchi Houmaru though... That, that she had never seen coming.  

WC: 625 | GP: 12 | Total GP: 12

She tried to reign in her emotions. She really tried. A valid attempt that had her breathing in slowly, fingers clenched beneath the desk as her teeth ground together and Kiriko pulled back that oppresive reiatsu just an inch. Just enough to give Houmaru the space to breath. She could see the effect she was having on him, and hated him all the more for being proficient enough to withstand her ire without batting an eye. Hated him for that cool and collected stare, for the way in which he answered her question perfectly in tune with protocol but without any satisfaction. God damn that man, was he so coldblooded as to deny her an answer?

Was that what she'd been like before? A fool. Thinking that stone meant that you would never shatter. Well she had shattered, of her own accord, and now she would show Ametsuchi just what it meant to leave her. “Your duty...” she mulled the word over, her voice caressing it, implying everything and nothing at once. “One might say that you have a duty to your commanding officer as well, but I understand the hierarchy as well as you do. Let me rephrase my question, Ametsuchi-san.”

She leaned forward, her face pale and stern, before a sudden edged smile bloomed, “Did he give you room to chose? Are you leaving the Second of your own volition or because it was requested of you?” She knew what she really meant. Maybe he did too. Was he leaving her because he wanted to? Was he running because she had treated him improperly? Was this his choice?

Who was being damned here? Houmaru? Or Ine? Who should she be angry with? And who would be the recipient of her vengeance? No one simply waltzed in and took away her pieces. And if Ine thought he could command her men to abdicate, then she would have to show him where the lines were drawn. But if it was truly Ametsuchi... If Ine had offered him a place and Houmaru had wanted to accept... That was another problem. She would need to find out why. And then correct the problem. But Houmaru... Houmaru would need to pay the price for betraying her. Mistake or not, she would not stand for this disloyalty in those she had given her trust to.

Burned once, you better succeed in tearing apart whatever it was that burned you. 

WC: 405 | GP: 8 | Total GP: 20

 She froze, her eyes unblinking as even the oxygen in her lungs settled down to wait. Yes. Yes. He has answered yes.

Damn that fool! And yet, the flames of Hell that had surged up in immediate rebuttal stirred uneasily as she took it all in. The pause. The hesitation. The carefully constructed explanation that said so little. As if... As if he was unable to say more. Because as much as Houmaru was gifted in hiding his emotions, in creating a blank face, stonewalling, she was better. And her command over reiatsu was such that even without the tiniest of micro-expressions she could read him like a book. It didn't give her the answers she truly wanted, but it gave her details that she could puzzle together.

Details like his reluctance. The cautious way he spoke, as if each word was dictated from somewhere else. When he looked away, at his own admission, she knew that she still had him. This man was hers. Loyal to her. And the reasons that were lurking beneath his calculated phrases were somehow justified. At least in his mind. A mind that had not betrayed her so much as failed her.

She could accept failure. Failure meant there was room for improvement. Room to be given instruction and to correct whatever it was that caused you to be unsuccessful. The shame was clear to see for anyone with eyes. Whatever it was that had caused this, Ametsuchi regretted it to some extent, and regretted even more his forced abdication from her command. And yet... something had pushed him to accept. Whether that was Ine himself, or a false sense of duty, or any number of other personal reasons, she would need to find out. And assure the man that he was needed back home. That he belonged back home.

Kiriko eased back, both her chilling reiatsu and her own body, as she straightened her spine and leaned against her chair. “I see...” soft words, foreboding words, and yet she really did understand. And with understanding came a plan. Ametsuchi was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either he obeyed his superior officer and made an enemy out of her, or he tried to stay with her and made an enemy out of his superior officer. Neither was ideal, and like any good soldier he had picked the most logical out of the two.

She could see the merit in that. “Then I suppose I will have to sign these papers so that you can officially transfer. We wouldn't want to make the Captain Commander antsy, now would we?” her smile was the antithesis of sweet, but she pulled it back at the last second. No need to telegraph her hatred of that man. It would only harm Ametsuchi's ability to function in the First, and she needed him to succeed there so that he could achieve whatever it was he was aiming for and then return in one piece. Ine would hold no hostage over her. Not when she trusted her own men to function at a level akin to perfection in whatever field they found themselves.

“I will sign them, Ametsuchi-san. But first, I need to speak with you on another subject. Your abrupt leave from my command has left me in a bit of a bind. You have no trained a successor to your position. Do you have any recommendations for your replacement?” It was a bit of a knife in the back, twisted just so, and yet the business couldn't be ignored in favor of emotional fragility. Houmaru had to be replaced. His position was vital to the Second. Even though she fully expected him to return to her, and soon, in the interim there had to be someone overseeing the Maggot's Nest.

There was still time to ruminate on the beginnings of a plan... Maybe Ametsuchi leaving the fold could be useful... Under her thumb he would always be suspicious to others. A member of the First though... Well, that held prestige and trust. Not just from the Captain Commander... But the rest of Soul Society as well. She could work with that. In so many very interesting ways.  

WC: 702 | GP: 14 | Total GP: 34

Kiriko was pleased. A swift reversal when juxtaposed to her recent towering rage, but pleased all the same. Pleased with Ametsuchi Houmaru. With his steadfast nature and his dedication. Pleased with his loyalty to her, and with her own ability to engender that quiet loyalty in him. Pleased with her sudden bloom of ideas, a flow of information that continued to tick onward as time went by, creating a window into a future of interesting propositions. She was pleased to find that she could actually use this, use Ametsuchi's transfer to the First, for her own gains. And hopefully for his as well, for whatever it was that had pushed him to leave her she was quickly realizing that it likely had little to do with Ine pressuring the Shinigami. No, there was something more personal afoot here, something that had goaded the stalwart man into leaving the comfort of the Second. Of his natural place in the world.

She saw the panic, the pain, the unease, the moment he realized what he was doing, in those eyes of his. In the slightest of twitches and in the wildly fluctuating reiatsu around him. Oh, how he thought he was being clever, so composed and careful about his words and his body language, but Kiriko knew. She prided herself on knowing, and Ametsuchi was so much like she herself had been that it was almost painful to look at him.

Thinking back to what she would have done in his position, if their roles had been reversed, she wondered if maybe it had to do with power. Ever since their first meeting when he had confessed his loss to that Tori woman there had been an acknowledged gap between where Ametsuchi wanted to be and where he was in reality. It had always been enough for Kiriko because his job was primarily a mental one, and he was certainly strong enough to withstand the rigors of imprisoning dangerous and crafty souls. She hadn't considered what that gap might do to the man though, so quiet and self-assured. For him to sit on that knowledge, unable to change it, and yet fully aware of what he felt were inadequacies. She too had been like that, before she had learned to overcome and triumph. Maybe this was his chance. To taste the pain of the real world and return to her with his edge honed even sharper than before.

Listening to Ametsuchi's recommendations about the Third Seat, Kiriko nodded as she pulled out a slip of paper that listed all the current seated officers and other up and coming recruits. Scanning the names, her mind slipped sideways, considering the minutia of each person's personal record that had been indelibly imprinted into her memory. Whatever else, Houmaru seemed to be right about his assessment. She hadn't expected him to have a recommendation, not honestly, trapped as he was most of the time at his post – he'd had no chance to see or work with the other Nibantai members enough to have a feel for their dispositions or skill sets. She was impressed that he had tried to keep abreast of them despite his natural handicap. That was why Ametsuchi was the perfect soldier. He never let limitations stop him from trying to become better.

“Yes, I believe you are right, Ametsuchi-san... No one is ready to step into your shoes. However the need cannot go ignored, not for long. I am certain that the Captain Commander will not mind if I borrow you occasionally... Would you mind that? Coming back every once and awhile to check in on things, and to oversee the training of your replacement? I would appreciate your advice on the matter. In fact, your advice would be invaluable to me,” she spoke softly, carefully enunciating to be sure there was no miscommunication. She wasn't asking him to betray his new Captain, only to maintain ties to the Second. To maintain ties with her. Couched in the polite compliment were her true sentiments. Houmaru was her man, and she would do whatever it took to make sure he stayed that way. The First would not succeed in corrupting him. Not so long as she continued to give him the attention he deserved.

“I would not ask much of your time, I am positive your new duties will keep you busy enough as it is. Learning how to live amongst a new division will be difficult. The Second is particular in our bonds to each other, we strive to be the support that each member needs because we know that you might not be able to get that support elsewhere. But in the First, it will be different. You might enjoy it. The freedom, the ability to make mistakes without terrible repercussions, the laxness of their community,” Kiriko folded her hands inward, fingers laced together as she quietly stabbed the blade deeper into his back. She had to make sure, make sure he damn well knew what he was leaving and what unwelcome sort of group he was headed towards. That way, he would be certain to continue trusting her, to continue believing in her. That way he would remain one of her own, no matter how far out into the world he wandered.

She made sure to sheath her hard words in concern, in advice given freely to another equal. Kiriko had spent her fair share of time in the other divisions before coming to the Second, she knew what it was like to be different, to be a blade in a shed full of rakes and hos. Some part of her was even concerned, worried that Ametsuchi would find himself estranged at his new position. That the members of the First would dislike him for all the same qualities that made him so especially perfect for the Second.

“You will have a lot of independence, but if it ever becomes too much, do not forget your home. We won't forget you,” she smiled, a true expression of softness, as she handed over the proverbial olive branch. The salve for his wounds. Whatever was pushing him away, she had just tied him tightly back to herself. If her words had had any effect, if her conniving concern was successful, he would remember this always. Whenever anyone else pushed him away. Whenever he was met with scorn or felt himself out of place. He would remember. And eventually, someday, he would come back to her, back to the Second, because Ametsuchi knew it as well as she did. This was where he belonged.  

WC: 1101 | GP: 22 | Total GP: 56

The pieces were falling into place with the sort of perfection one would expect from a concert orchestra, rising up in a terrible crescendo of implication. This would work. She would make this work. Kiriko could not help but feel satisfied, content in the knowledge that she still controlled this soldier. That he was still hers and hers alone. That she knew where to push and where to pull to ensure his obedience, his fealty.

And yet, some smaller voice piped up, a tenor amongst the thrum of instrumentals. It took a moment to sink in, even longer for Kiriko to place the prickling feeling at the back of her neck. Ametsuchi dipped his head, the weight of his appreciation so heavy that for once he broke his rigid stance and stared at his hands. Seeing him, bowed like that, forced downward by his own choices, she realized that this was not something to be proud about.

Not something to play with, twisting words and emotions like the strings of a musical instrument. She had the ability, had always had the ability, to make people do what she wanted. It came from understanding human nature, and from knowing where and when to press on weaknesses. But that didn't make it alright. Didn't make it okay to be using this man who had always given her his everything, who had never wavered in his dedication or his drive. Didn't make it acceptable to be plotting to ensnare him as if the honest truth wasn't enough to tie him to her.

Because what had suddenly filled the room was honesty. A bare vulnerability that could only be offered up by someone who sincerely believed.

She felt ashamed.

For the first time in a very long time Chinda Kiriko felt repulsed by her own actions. A backwash of heat that was not comforting, a far cry from the painful flames she had so often enshrouded herself within. Blinking several times, to get the odd sensation out of her eyes, Kiriko let her hands fall into her lap where they were hidden from view. Pressing her fingers into her palms she dug hard, keeping her face still as her nails cut narrow semi-circles into her skin, the sharpness enough to bring everything back into focus.

Kiriko had been going about this all wrong. Ametsuchi was not Fujikagi. They were not similar at all. She had no reason to fear this man. No reason to push him away or pull him in close through any artificial machinations. What he offered was something no one else did. A steady loyalty that was based not on ambition or hopes or even morals, but on that shared dream. He knew what it meant to serve, to shoulder the weight of the rest of the division on his shoulders. To carry the weight of the rest of the Gotei. To sacrifice and sacrifice until there was nothing left but bone and then build yourself back up until those bones were iron girding. Ametsuchi was strong. He understood things on a level that could not be overlooked.

For once she felt the pain of being left behind as something other than hatred. For once Kiriko realized that she would miss Ametsuchi as a comrade, not as a pawn or tool. For while he completed his duties with distinction, he was so much more than a soldier. He was hers. A trusted subordinate. And he deserved better than her plotting. Better than her distrust and paranoia. He deserved the world, for these were the people who carried her dream alongside her. These were the people who believed as she did, who worked and toiled and suffered for the same results.

He was honest. And so was she.

“No, it has been my honor to work with you, Ametsuchi-san,” her voice was soft, emotion welling up like blood to a cut, her heart beating with each uttered syllable. Whatever was driving him, whatever was hounding this man away from her side, she knew that he would master it. He would beat back all obstacles because he was just like her. Kiriko couldn't voice that certainty, couldn't break the easy protocol between the two soldiers, but she knew it would be enough. That he would understand her words, spoken and silent ones alike. He was worthy of being her subordinate, and she was lucky to have one such as him. Kiriko would not let him slip away. Would not let his talent go to waste.

“I will contact you once you are settled into the First to see about arranging a time for you to visits to assist me with finding your replacement.” Sliding a stack of paper to her right closer, she plucked the first few packets of pages away to reveal a thrice-stamped relocation form. It was already signed and notarized. It had been, ever since the news of Ametsuchi's transfer had reached her office. Pulling the page free, Kiriko stood and offered it with both hands.

“You will do well in the First, Ametsuchi-san. The Captain Commander himself has recruited you and he knows how to spot talent. He will find use in you.” He would, because she always had. 

WC: 870 | GP: 17 | Total GP: 73