Post by Colin Arascain on Aug 30, 2015 16:35:20 GMT -5
I've been shaking all morning. I woke up and I was angrier than when I went to bed, and it isn't going away. I don't know if I was expecting someone to see sense, or what, but it doesn't appear to be happening.
The only thing stopping me from leaving right now is that if I did, I would be what I hate. I have always said that the commitments you make to people here matter. I've been hard on people who break them. My characters are entwined with other people to the point where it's not a matter of finishing up a couple of threads, but where my absence would seriously fuck a few people over no matter how well I tried to tie up loose ends.
I don't want to do that. I want to fulfil the obligations I've made. I don't want to impact anyone else's enjoyment.
But I don't really know what else I'm supposed to do.
In the topic about how unacceptable it is to harass and bully people, I was harassed and bullied? My name was publicly smeared by the person who, formerly and still probably currently in practice, is the final word on disputes about members. The person who I am supposed to trust to deal with any issues I have, who is meant to be even-handed and unbiased, is doing this.
Tokiyo, if bullying is so bad, why are you doing it? Why are you lying about me to all of these people in a way that you know will impact my ability to play here? When the evidence you provided doesn't even support your assertions?
This is a logical post. This is a logical post because I am a logical person. I am using calm words because I have enough restraint to keep myself from banging on the keyboard with swear words punctuating every other sentence. This does not mean that I am calm. This is the shittiest thing that has happened to me on Bleach Gotei, bar none. The accusation, the context, the person saying it? It's all just unforgivable.
I don't know what to do about this other than sit here, and hurt, and hate.
If this is the sort of treatment I should expect from the people who are supposed to be fair, I don't know why I shouldn't leave.
I'll keep thinking about it, I guess.