Post by Nanami on May 6, 2016 12:48:04 GMT -5
(These posts take place between threads of moments where Nanami reaches out to and speaks with her Zanpakuto spirit. Awareness of the events preceeding them may be necessary, I'll will leave the relevant links for each post)
[Following the events of Reforged In Blood & its follow up sister thread A New Day]
Her vision lurched, she had the sensation of falling as she reached out, opened her eyes, tried to see. Her vision exploded with the bright light, blinding her for several moments. She stopped falling, and soon her vision cleared to the steady calm water save the small ripples that radiated from her knees and palm.
For a moment, she panicked, struggled to keep from sinking deep into the still water and doing so caused her to lurch forward, sinking into the vast depth of the water which stretched out in all directions.
She caught herself at the last moment, a silent exhale and allowed herself to relax. I'm not falling, she decided.
And she didn't.
She laid on her back atop the surface of the water, vision clearing further as she beheld the sunny clear sky above her.
She called out, "Gamikira?"
"You remember," the soft young feminine reply came somewhere from behind. Nanami turned over and climbed to her feet. She towered over the child-like Zanpakuto spirit, her long curl hair that spilled out gave her a vaguely doll like visage. Nanami bowed her head politely.
"Such deference too," she replied, her face almost expressionless. "It is nice to see you here under less pressing circumstances, Nanami."
Nanami nodded, it had been a few days at most since her battle with Yuki. She'd sat down to meditate on her blade, on all that had happened like she had so many times before, only now there was a voice to make reply to her thoughts.
"Did you come here for any reason in particular?" Gamikira posed, curious it seemed.
"To talk," she answered quickly, "Perhaps to thank you..."
This elicited a small girlish giggle, Gamikira's normally grave face showing a faint smile. "Thank me?"
Nanami felt a faint heat in her cheeks, being taunted by her Zanpakuto spirit was a strange experience but even still she found herself smiling. "Yes, of course, you saved me."
"Oh child..." Gamikira's mask returned and she let out a quiet breath, a sigh? Nanami wondered but Gamikira was quick to continue. "It is time that we begin, we've wasted enough time."
Nanami went to speak but found her voice caught in her throat, she was moving, reflex just narrowly putting her out of range as she ducked back, away from the blade that almost cut her throat.
"Reflexes," Gamikira said with a hint of distaste. The blade in her hand vanished into the air before Nanami got a look at it, she was busy watching Gamikira, wary now.
"Reflexes," she repeated, "Instinct, relying on one's 'Gut'." Each pause came with a renewed and more noticeable disgust as she spoke each word.
"What are you say-" she barely got the words out as Gamikira appeared before her, an unseen blade surging through the air to skewer her.
Nanami twisted, blade passing harmlessly through the side of her robes as she danced away at the last moment. "Reaction!" she called blade slicing through the air, another nimble desperate dodge.
"Gamikira, stop!" Nanami shouted, this wasn't what she had come here for. Gamikira lunged towards her again and this time Nanami stepped forward, blade drawn in one clean precise motion as she met Gamikira's blade.
"Why?" Gamikira asked, blade testing evenly against Nanami's. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't press the spirit's blade back, it was like a steel wall. "Did you not expect my first cut? What about my second? The third? This?"
Nanami made sounds as she struggled desperately against the ease that Gamikira forced her blade back steadily towards her. She relented suddenly, to force Gamikira off balanced as she stepped hard to the side and cut, but as she did Gamikira's blade had already shifted, swept past Nanami's guard and carried the blade out of her hand sending it spiralling through the air. Nanami was quick to leap back, catch the blade from the air and bring it to bare on Gamikira, only her spirit made no approach.
"You're not thinking, you're just reacting. You used to be so much better than this Nanami."
"That was-"
"A long time ago?" Gamikira finished for her. "Your skills are still there, your reactions impeccable, your blade cuts are honed. These things you burned into your very soul, you could never forget them. Your mind is the problem."
She launched forward again, a single cut, then another, and another. Nanami meet each precisely, keeping her foot, there was an opening, she took it, cutting clean. Gamikira pulled away suddenly and in one quick motion stepped in cut hard against her blade. "Has your mind rusted from disuse? I bet you are thinking of your early lessons," her blade swept in but it was slow, enough for Nanami to dance backwards and put some distance between them but it could have taken her throat. "That one must simply feel the battle, and that all thought should be instinctual? Wrong."
Nanami was breathing a bit heavier now. "Desperation exhausts, Nanami."
Gamikira was right, it had been so long she'd fallen back on instinct to guide her. She was better than that, had been for a long time but she'd spent so long running from that side of her.
"And even knowing that still you react, refuse to see what your mind offers you, ignoring it, shutting it out."
A bead of sweat trailed down her forehead, she tightened up, hand clenching the hilt harder than she should have.
"You're better than this Nanami, why do you hide from it!?"
Gamikira burst forward, a powerful swing brought hard across her horizontally. Nanami brought up her blade to brace, but the force was greater. It caught her guard and tore it open sending her airborne and tumbling across the surface of the water. She broke the surface and began to sink like a stone.
She struggled, blade in hand trying to pull and tear her way back to the surface. Part of her tried to calm to remember how to rest calmly on the surface but she couldn't. Those words echoed in her head. Was she hiding? Why would she hide? Why would she resist?
She could see Gamikira's approach, not the first cut, perhaps not even the second, but the third. Her mind unravelled the approach, and in it saw the cut, her body could have evaded, parried. During their clash she could have read that Gamikira would see her feint and yet she didn't try, the thought made her anxious, uneasy.
Air escaped from her lungs, she closed her eyes. Gamikira awaited her on the surface, she did not need to be rescued. This was her inner-world, this was a place of her soul, she would only drown if she willed it.
She emerged to the surface, drawing a deep breath as she pulled herself to her knees atop the now disturbed surface of water. The ripples echoed out, slowly fading into the distance as she gathered her breath.
"I'm afraid," Nanami whispered quietly. Of what she was, what she could still become.
"I know," Gamikira said softly. "It's okay, Nanami, to be afraid of what is inside of you, of the potential you have to do evil, the inclination inside that pulls you with thoughts how delightful it'd be to indulge."
"But you have chosen to pick up that sword, you have chosen to fight, to stand, to face your past head on. It's time to discard that last little vestige of fear and move forward."
"Embrace your strength Nanami, and use it to tread the path that -you- chose."
Nanami stared down for a long moment, looking at her face in the reflection of the calming waters. She rose to her feet slowly, small ripples at each of her movements as she pulled her blade up. She was right.
Gamikira rushed towards her, blade head at the ready and Nanami allowed herself to see.
1314/17/17 GP Total
[Following the events of Reforged In Blood & its follow up sister thread A New Day]
Her vision lurched, she had the sensation of falling as she reached out, opened her eyes, tried to see. Her vision exploded with the bright light, blinding her for several moments. She stopped falling, and soon her vision cleared to the steady calm water save the small ripples that radiated from her knees and palm.
For a moment, she panicked, struggled to keep from sinking deep into the still water and doing so caused her to lurch forward, sinking into the vast depth of the water which stretched out in all directions.
She caught herself at the last moment, a silent exhale and allowed herself to relax. I'm not falling, she decided.
And she didn't.
She laid on her back atop the surface of the water, vision clearing further as she beheld the sunny clear sky above her.
She called out, "Gamikira?"
"You remember," the soft young feminine reply came somewhere from behind. Nanami turned over and climbed to her feet. She towered over the child-like Zanpakuto spirit, her long curl hair that spilled out gave her a vaguely doll like visage. Nanami bowed her head politely.
"Such deference too," she replied, her face almost expressionless. "It is nice to see you here under less pressing circumstances, Nanami."
Nanami nodded, it had been a few days at most since her battle with Yuki. She'd sat down to meditate on her blade, on all that had happened like she had so many times before, only now there was a voice to make reply to her thoughts.
"Did you come here for any reason in particular?" Gamikira posed, curious it seemed.
"To talk," she answered quickly, "Perhaps to thank you..."
This elicited a small girlish giggle, Gamikira's normally grave face showing a faint smile. "Thank me?"
Nanami felt a faint heat in her cheeks, being taunted by her Zanpakuto spirit was a strange experience but even still she found herself smiling. "Yes, of course, you saved me."
"Oh child..." Gamikira's mask returned and she let out a quiet breath, a sigh? Nanami wondered but Gamikira was quick to continue. "It is time that we begin, we've wasted enough time."
Nanami went to speak but found her voice caught in her throat, she was moving, reflex just narrowly putting her out of range as she ducked back, away from the blade that almost cut her throat.
"Reflexes," Gamikira said with a hint of distaste. The blade in her hand vanished into the air before Nanami got a look at it, she was busy watching Gamikira, wary now.
"Reflexes," she repeated, "Instinct, relying on one's 'Gut'." Each pause came with a renewed and more noticeable disgust as she spoke each word.
"What are you say-" she barely got the words out as Gamikira appeared before her, an unseen blade surging through the air to skewer her.
Nanami twisted, blade passing harmlessly through the side of her robes as she danced away at the last moment. "Reaction!" she called blade slicing through the air, another nimble desperate dodge.
"Gamikira, stop!" Nanami shouted, this wasn't what she had come here for. Gamikira lunged towards her again and this time Nanami stepped forward, blade drawn in one clean precise motion as she met Gamikira's blade.
"Why?" Gamikira asked, blade testing evenly against Nanami's. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't press the spirit's blade back, it was like a steel wall. "Did you not expect my first cut? What about my second? The third? This?"
Nanami made sounds as she struggled desperately against the ease that Gamikira forced her blade back steadily towards her. She relented suddenly, to force Gamikira off balanced as she stepped hard to the side and cut, but as she did Gamikira's blade had already shifted, swept past Nanami's guard and carried the blade out of her hand sending it spiralling through the air. Nanami was quick to leap back, catch the blade from the air and bring it to bare on Gamikira, only her spirit made no approach.
"You're not thinking, you're just reacting. You used to be so much better than this Nanami."
"That was-"
"A long time ago?" Gamikira finished for her. "Your skills are still there, your reactions impeccable, your blade cuts are honed. These things you burned into your very soul, you could never forget them. Your mind is the problem."
She launched forward again, a single cut, then another, and another. Nanami meet each precisely, keeping her foot, there was an opening, she took it, cutting clean. Gamikira pulled away suddenly and in one quick motion stepped in cut hard against her blade. "Has your mind rusted from disuse? I bet you are thinking of your early lessons," her blade swept in but it was slow, enough for Nanami to dance backwards and put some distance between them but it could have taken her throat. "That one must simply feel the battle, and that all thought should be instinctual? Wrong."
Nanami was breathing a bit heavier now. "Desperation exhausts, Nanami."
Gamikira was right, it had been so long she'd fallen back on instinct to guide her. She was better than that, had been for a long time but she'd spent so long running from that side of her.
"And even knowing that still you react, refuse to see what your mind offers you, ignoring it, shutting it out."
A bead of sweat trailed down her forehead, she tightened up, hand clenching the hilt harder than she should have.
"You're better than this Nanami, why do you hide from it!?"
Gamikira burst forward, a powerful swing brought hard across her horizontally. Nanami brought up her blade to brace, but the force was greater. It caught her guard and tore it open sending her airborne and tumbling across the surface of the water. She broke the surface and began to sink like a stone.
She struggled, blade in hand trying to pull and tear her way back to the surface. Part of her tried to calm to remember how to rest calmly on the surface but she couldn't. Those words echoed in her head. Was she hiding? Why would she hide? Why would she resist?
She could see Gamikira's approach, not the first cut, perhaps not even the second, but the third. Her mind unravelled the approach, and in it saw the cut, her body could have evaded, parried. During their clash she could have read that Gamikira would see her feint and yet she didn't try, the thought made her anxious, uneasy.
Air escaped from her lungs, she closed her eyes. Gamikira awaited her on the surface, she did not need to be rescued. This was her inner-world, this was a place of her soul, she would only drown if she willed it.
She emerged to the surface, drawing a deep breath as she pulled herself to her knees atop the now disturbed surface of water. The ripples echoed out, slowly fading into the distance as she gathered her breath.
"I'm afraid," Nanami whispered quietly. Of what she was, what she could still become.
"I know," Gamikira said softly. "It's okay, Nanami, to be afraid of what is inside of you, of the potential you have to do evil, the inclination inside that pulls you with thoughts how delightful it'd be to indulge."
"But you have chosen to pick up that sword, you have chosen to fight, to stand, to face your past head on. It's time to discard that last little vestige of fear and move forward."
"Embrace your strength Nanami, and use it to tread the path that -you- chose."
Nanami stared down for a long moment, looking at her face in the reflection of the calming waters. She rose to her feet slowly, small ripples at each of her movements as she pulled her blade up. She was right.
Gamikira rushed towards her, blade head at the ready and Nanami allowed herself to see.
1314/17/17 GP Total