Through The Looking Glass [Kasumi]

The lower the number of the district the less people there were roaming around the streets. It made sense, the chaos appeared to be spreading from the Seireitei today, or at least somewhere close to it. Wishing to be able to move quicker than the pace she was going at now, Kasumi's body jerked to a stop when a familiar voice addressed her from the alley she had just run by. If it hadn't been for the fact that they knew her name she might have ignored the call and continued her journey towards the Shinigami's capital.

What now?

Narrowing eyes the colour of a stormy sea turned to meet a couple of golden ones. The moment their gazes crossed Kasumi gasped gently. Pupils diluted at the sight of the beautiful, but seemingly tired Arrancar she's met one time before. Never had the girl imagined that she would ever see Cheshire again. Fragile seconds passed before she took three careful steps towards the one who had so easily cast her away.

Bitter thoughts of rejection and regret poisoned Kasumi's mind, but she managed to shove them away by gritting her teeth. They were past what she had done – what she had made Kasumi do. Mistakes had been made on both sides, and the young Shinigami didn't plan on repeating them again. The feelings she's had back then were there no longer. Even the idea of having wanted to take the Arrancar to Soul Society so badly seemed ridiculous now.

“What the hell are you doi-?”

Cheshire's comment collided with her question and a second later Kasumi was merely an inch away from the dark haired Arrancar. Cold eyes stared at the reason of their endless nightmares and sleepless nights. For so long she had wondered if there was something wrong with her, wondered if Cheshire had been the reason why she might be like the others. The ones like Nagisa.

“Inside of me?” The words were nothing more but a hiss. Barely contained anger.

“You fool with my head and that's the first thing you say?”

'As long as you don't let go, they'll have an influence on you and your life.'

They've had this conversation. Still, it wasn't exactly easy to apply such philosophy on yourself not even a day later. Swallowing in order to calm down Kasumi slowly closed her eyes. The steely grey sank back to the bottom of her inner world and as she opened them again they had gone back to their usual crystal blue. Twisting her reiatsu into place, she managed to deeply inhale and take a step back.

“There is nothing inside of me that shouldn't be there.”

The calm announcement was quite clear; Kasumi was certain that she wasn't tainted. No matter what Cheshire would say or think, she had seen it for herself; ugly as it had been, it hadn't been a Hollow.

“Why are you here?” Boring her eyes into the liquid gold across of her, she rose an eyebrow.

“I imagine it's not because you've finally accepted my invitation.”


Words: 510

She hated the way she wanted to pull back as Kasumi closed the distance between them, that bitter chill slowing the already sluggish pump of blood through her veins. She hated how far her guard had fallen, how she hadn't even noticed the considerable steps until the small girl was already in her face. She was facing the Shinigami with a realer part of her than any mask she had worn up to this point; it shown clearly in the dark circles under her eyes, the new dull gleam in her amber eyes. This was the Cheshire facing the aftermath of everything she had been through, taking that leap of faith towards one last lingering regret.

She didn't even twitch, keeping her position against the wall stalwart and breathing evenly even as her heart had skipped its beat. She peered into those stormy eyes, noting how pretty they really were. Kasumi was, if nothing else, truly gorgeous - for someone so young, either way. For someone so strong, at that. She could taste the heavy shiver of the girl's reiatsu, the true proprietor of the frost numbing her chest. It was what had led her to her, after all, all the way out here in one of the Shinigami's rural districts. Why Kasumi was here she didn't know; she might have been sent out to guard the area as Shinkiro had been doing, but as far as she could see right now the two were alone in their little enclave.

All the better; Cheshire would have had to kill anyone else who saw her like this. It was just - the sight of Kasumi, the ruggedly concealed pain and rejection in her voice that was throwing her off. She hadn't come prepared to face this, having troubled herself with too many trips and memories to face in this new war Erasmus had thrust them into. She had managed to avoid dirtying her hands; but her soul? That was another matter entirely. Kasumi was so angry with her, and out of all the possibilities for this meeting to go Cheshire should have expected this one to be likely turnout. The Arrancar couldn't say she was very fond of this feeling, however, and was unaccustomed to such a gaze of rage. No one ever lost her temper with the - with her, after all. Not unless things were dire.

This was so mundane, yet so honest. She swallowed, quiet so as not to interrupt the Shinigami's response to her piercing question. "Oh?", was her only response at that moment, raising a slow eyebrow. Nothing there that shouldn't be? Had Kasumi won out over the Hollow, then? As immoral as her interest was in these Vaizard, she couldn't say it effected her deeply to hear this. She hadn't come for the Hollow, after all - she had come for Kasumi.

It really was like looking in a mirror, features softening. Her steely gaze was the only part of her illusion that remained; and even that was faltering, a thrum of emotion bolting through her wavering honey. "You fool with my head and that's the first thing you say?", Kasumi had asked, her indignant tone her right. Cheshire was looking through a prism, the reflection of her own broken face meeting her at every turn.

You're right, Jian. I'm not the monster. You are.

"A part of me is sorry to hear that," she spoke, shoulders rising and then falling with a breathless sigh. "But you seem untroubled by the monster inside of you - so who am I to fan those flames? Oh, sorry; I do mean the monster no longer inside of you, yes?"

"Kasumi...", the desire to run, to leave this meeting, had instilled itself in her bones. It flexed her toes within her boots, shifting her heel a few centimeters to the side. She couldn't leave now, though- then these feelings would have been for nothing. "Would you believe me if I said I came because I wanted to see you again?"

"Not quite an acceptance of your offer, I'm very sorry.", she knew it wasn't what she should be apologizing for, made worse by this being playfully spoken. She wasn't quite... there, yet, though. Apologies were not... her forte.

[ 705 | 1049 ]

“The only monster that's been there was me.”

For all she knew that was the only truth, and that was probably the only reason why she could announce it so firmly. Kasumi had never been a good liar and some things seemed to never change. Unfortunately, that included the part of her that wanted to reach out to Cheshire. There was something about the Arrancar that forced the young Shinigami to keep the threat out of her voice even while the words spoken were as cold as ice.

Silently studying Cheshire's face she couldn't help but to wonder why the other female looked so worn out. Things weren't easy for any of them, but to look so.. fragile and still appear at the enemies' gates was foolishness. Traces of suspicion briefly made their presence known when Kasumi wondered whether this could be a trap. If Cheshire was only pretending to lack the vigour from their last meeting, then this might easily turn into a Cero to the face. Again.

Pulled from her reverie by a single word Kasumi gently shook her head from side to side. It wasn't a reply to the question, it was more of a sign of disbelief and awe at this cheekiness. The Arrancar certainly had some nerve.

Living for yourself, wasn't it?

“You came here because you wanted to see me. Ever thought about what I want?”

There was space between them but it barely equalled a full step. Reaching out with her left hand, Kasumi carefully placed her fingers on Cheshire's cheek. The elegant digits softly pushed against the smooth, warm skin. To Kas most people felt quite warm – her eyes widened when she realized that Arrancar had the same body temperature as most Shinigami and humans had, at least that was the case with her friend here.

“I think that you're aware that I'm a Shinigami.” Blinking slowly she allowed her thumb to fall on Cheshire's chin and put a tiny bit of pressure on it to make sure that the Arrancar was looking down. Her grip was nothing but gentle, but her words when she spoke again were sharp.

“..so.. what if I want you dead?”

Two orbs of blue curiously stared at the Arrancar while wondering what she would do next. There was the possibility of being pushed away, of being attacked or slapped.. As the girl's mind tried to process all of the ways this could head down she suddenly felt the familiar sensation of excitement. The feeling was a fleeting one, but it had been there undoubtedly.

'Are you going to bully her now?'

No, that was not what she wanted to live for. Power, growth, opportunities, knowledge, sensations and travels – both to meet people and see places. All of these things were worth marching forth for. Scaring a creature that was already looking contrite, even if only barely, wasn't a game she planned to be playing. Especially not now.

“Let's see,” Her slightly colder fingers slipped down and fell next to her side as the white-haired Shinigami turned around and took a couple of steps through the alley.

“I would advise you to leave now.” Crossing her arms in front of her chest she turned again, eyes looking for the woman across. Fairly cool compared to their last meeting, though interested nevertheless, Kasumi narrowed her eyes slightly. “Of course, then I wouldn't know why you wanted to see me.”

“Explain.”

Hopefully the Queen was capable of taking orders, because Kasumi wasn't begging this time.


Words: 586/ 1096

She didn't agree - rather, she knew Kasumi was wrong. She had felt that spirit, had talked with it, played with it; she was, coming from those roots herself, hyper-aware of the signature Hollow left, and after her meetings with both Walkren Dekharr and Shinkiro there was very little doubt in her mind that Kasumi was met with the same predicament. She did not... speak as if she had bested the creature, however. Could you win by denial? Was that more 'by default'? She had no heart nor desire to crush Kasumi with this concept, and instead allowed her to think what she thought. It didn't hurt her, and if the Shinigami found herself in deeper than she could handle - well, why should that matter to Cheshire at all?

What had she said to draw this exasperation from Kasumi? She was almost taken aback by the reaction, a sigh and shake of the girl's head later stacking upon the indignance in her tone. "What you wanted? Well, yes - "
- "Before you start taking what other people have, taking what you want, what you desire, perhaps you should take a good long look at yourself and think about what you need." -

Cheshire was very suddenly cut off by her own thoughts; mouth clamping shut in such an abrupt, violent action that it dug her teeth painfully into her lip. She could taste blood, refusing to let that pain and terror show through in her tired gaze even as she slacked further back against the wall behind her. She swallowed quietly, simply allowing Kasumi to continue with her point here; even as she inched further, raising a hand. Would she be fast enough to react before she could be hurt? If Kasumi turned violent, would Cheshire's reflexes be enough to keep her head on her body? She was always so sure in her own speed - she had to be, even now, even when she

didn't want to care.

The small fingers were oddly cold and Cheshire was briefly aware of - how delicate they both were. It was like snowflakes fluttering against her cheek for that first second, a low hum building in her throat. She felt the beat of her pulse under Kasumi's hand, the warmth and slow blush of her skin following soon after. It was breathed evenly through her nose, while she kept the girl squarely in her sights. She almost melted into the contact, needing to will herself not to lean in to the cool touch. It was when the thumb brushed her chin that she realized - or rather, remembered - that this was not an affectionate moment.

A peculiar rage boiled in her blood as Kasumi tilted her jaw. No part of Cheshire, not even the barren reaches of longing emptiness in her soul, desired this kind of domination. She was not a doll to be commanded with actions, and the strain to control her wounded pride throbbed heavily in that same cheek. "Then I once again apologize," she replied coldly, her expression still a polite blank. "But I did not come here to die."

She gently reached up, hesitance showing in the trembling of her fingers, and brushed Kasumi's hand away. It was led back to her cheek, where two or three fingertips eased it down and kept it steady. "But you don't want that either," she murmured. Honey melted into blue, their meeting gazes speaking for them in the next few quiet moments. The silence was not uncomfortable for once; it hung heavy, yes, but Cheshire found herself standing tall in it despite this.

The hand was dropped and Kasumi took a more aggressive - or annoyed - stance once more, crossing her arms. This was mirrored by the way the Arrancar hugged herself, a strand of black falling loose from behind her ear to frame the spot on her cheek the girl's skin had just left cold. There was more space between them now, something a very small part of Cheshire was grateful for. She nodded slowly, musing a hand up into her hair and fanning it back in slow, methodical motions.

The order didn't have the same effect on Cheshire that the physical altercation had; instead she merely wanted to laugh, that quirk of absurdity on her lips gleaming brightly. "I also didn't come here to be cowed, Kasumi." She sighed, leg finally sliding down the wall to tap heavily against the floor and stretch out her body. A soft, mewling groan shook from her limps, bones popping pleasantly here and there along her frame. "Look, you have to understand -" She knew the response to this line the moment it left her mouth, however. "No, I don't", Kasumi would say and her anger would only spike once more. For now, Cheshire couldn't argue - the small Shinigami was under no obligation to listen to nor believe her.

Instead she tried a different angle. "Are you safe here? I know you've seen - heard - felt, what's going on out there right now.", she indicated the world outside the home they stood in with a wave of her hand. "Should you be involved, as well? Or can you leave?"

[ 856 | 1905 ]

Blinking slowly she wondered where that had come from. She hadn't been trying to intimidate Cheshire, she had tried to – to what? - be reasonable, perhaps that was the best way to put it, yes. After having been hurt the way she had been, the angry tone was just a natural reaction, and as far as Kasumi knew she hadn't done anything wrong. There was nothing that she could possibly do wrong, because the creature across from her was an Arrancar in the Seireitei. Should the girl slip, then nobody would care for the end that would be swiftly brought upon the golden eyed raven head.

'Yes, it would go hand in hand with our duty, but you don't want to force her to pass on if she's isn't ready, or do you?'

Something about Cheshire was different from various other Arrancar that she's met so far. It was hard to tell whether it had anything to do with her or with Kasumi herself, and that was the scary part. In theory everything about this encounter should be easy. If Cheshire chose to ignore her order to leave the realm, then she could simply throw her out, or worse, kill her. Unfortunately, there was the annoying reality that defied all reason. The young Shinigami would be lying if she didn't admit to herself that it irked her, but it also gave her a small amount of excitement because her adventurous and curious side wanted to know exactly why this was happening.

With her arms unfolded now, Kasumi's eyebrow rose higher as Cheshire continued to speak. The woman broke off whatever she had been planning to say, only causing Kasumi to tilt her head to the side in confusion.

I don't have the time for this, was what she wanted to tell to the oddly behaving Arrancar, but her thoughts of worry and annoyance soon got shattered by pure astonishment. Eyebrows dropped, then furrowed as Kasumi processed Cheshire's words. Assuming that she had understood what she was implying, then the Arrancar was concerned about her. But why? Why in the world would she care about whatever would happen to Kasumi? They were in no way related – at least not as far as Kasumi knew – and they weren't friends, not even real acquaintances.

A gust of realization suddenly went through her as she stood quietly in the alley. Cheshire must have known that this would happen. And now that she thought about it, that didn't seem so unlikely. Hueco Mundo had its leaders. Even if the structure of their 'organisation' was different from the Seireitei's, they still had something akin to a military force.

“You knew,” She spoke slightly taken aback. Now that the words were out in the world they appeared to be heavier. But, to Kasumi's own surprise, they didn't sound accusingly.

“Is that why you've come here? To warn me?” If so, then it was a bit too late for that; the battle had already started. Yet, in a way, Kasumi felt touched by the intention – if the one that Cheshire's had in mind was the same one that she was thinking about.

Torn between laughing and leaving, the young Shinigami inhaled deeply before forming an answer to the previously posed question about whether she had to get involved or not.

“I'm as safe here as I can be anywhere else.” A pause followed, one that included some brief wondering about if that was actually the truth. Perhaps it was the timing, perhaps it was simply time, but for once Kasumi knew that what she had said was what she believed in with all of her heart.

“Should I leave and the place gets destroyed then where would I go? How would I live with myself knowing that my people died, that I've abandoned those in need for nothing else but the delay of the inevitable?”

Soul Society was her home, she knew that now. In case that the invaders would not be stopped, then Kasumi would lose the only place she belonged to. After all of this time where she had been searching and faking, after having inwardly beaten herself over the past, she was finally getting the opportunity to be where she wanted to be. It was high time to take matters in her own hands and hold onto them, mold the present into a future that she wanted.

She wouldn't be too late to realize what a precious life she had, not this time, not now that she's been given a second chance. Most importantly, she wouldn't allow anyone to take it from her.

“You aren't safe here, Cheshire. Besides, you look tired.” Not wanting to be too obvious about her lack of interest in hurting the Arrancar, Kasumi tried to hint at the fact that most Shinigami wouldn't bother figuring out whether Cheshire was a danger to their realm. She was an enemy on their grounds, only few would take that lightly.

“I would again advise you to leave, and to take the ones you care about with you. Now that your kind has invaded our home, we shall show no mercy to those that came here with bad intentions.”


Words: 865/ 1961

She could only give a slow nod as a reply at first - of course she knew. She had been dragged here to take part in the slaughter! Though, while being fair, she would have made her excuses to come along anyways - just without that drive for murder and chaos she was thankfully freed of. She had learned a great deal since she arrived, and now she was...

Tying up loose ends. "To warn you...?", Cheshire trailed off, her lips wrapping slowly and methodically around the words. Her gaze flickered, another thoughtful turn of amber. "Perhaps...," she lifted her head higher, a slight turn of it sending lingering strands of black to coat one of her eyes. The burgeoning gold was only made more disconcerting by the shade of darkness, peering deeply at Kasumi. "It's not that I don't think you can look after yourself -"

It's that I didn't want you to have to?

She groaned, unable to stop her frustration from showing to the other girl. Her expression twisted in - anguish? or something less melodramatic, the turn of her lips slouching roughly into a pout. What was she doing here? What was her aim? Why did she continue to bug Kasumi, even as the Shinigami had made it clear that she... didn't... want... her.

Is that why? Kasumi pushing her away - was it only pulling her closer? She couldn't so easily accept that someone didn't want her company, didn't want her attention... she could always, always, just sing her little song. She could play her game as always and it would just be so easy. She knew Kasumi was already open to the suggestion, susceptible to her control. A few words from her and the girl would be putty in her hands once again. 

That line of thinking was why she found herself in this position, now, in the first place. It had been because she had toyed with the girl, had seen herself in those desperate eyes and loud pleas; enough to reverberate deep in her soul, torn to the surface once more after Nazomi, Jian and Erasmus had had their own ways with her. 

"I really do hate you, Jian Oreachi."

It was an unspoken apology to a mirror of her heart. That deep-rooted fear of abandonment; could she even accept, now, that it's what she was resonating with so strongly? That sense of loss, a lack of "self" and desire for "validation"? She had so many questions - and many more she couldn't face herself. Kasumi had grown, greatly, the resolution and commitment her words had bred more than enough to convince Cheshire. Still so young, so innocent, so... but she was definitely a Shinigami, through and through. Whatever that entailed, well...

"Kasumi," she murmured, a heavy weight dragging down her creaking bones as she shifted and took a slow step forward off the wall. She was now being advised to leave - look tired, did she? Did she...? She rubbed an eye, stopping in her approach shortly into it. Her hair was fanned back from her face; better to see you with, my dear. "I'm as safe here as anywhere," she echoed, a solemn sentiment in her damning words.

There wasn't an ounce of her playful notes in the statement, just a cold and clear meaning. She wasn't wrong. Las Noches was destroyed and the war for the throne would begin soon. The Soul Society was overrun with her breed and the mad King himself. Karakura Town - that's where her worst demons reside. Is there any place on Earth she could run? Anywhere she could hide?

The phrase 'stand against' yawned forward in her thoughts, smoldering her gaze. She wasn't going to be running anywhere. "I won't be staying long - there are just some things I have to take care of before I can depart again. You can understand that, yes? Even if you don't want to." Kasumi cared for her, in some way; otherwise she would have tried to cut her down already, an avoidance to that route Cheshire respected. The white-haired girl was doing the same thing for her she was attempting visa versa. 

"With bad intentions," she quoted, twirling a tendril of black around an idle finger. "You do differentiate, then. You see me as different. Why is that, Kasumi? Because I came here to talk and not fight? Is that what makes me 'good'?" Rarely did Shinigami care about such things as a Hollow's "intentions" - monsters were monsters, after all.

"Everyone I care about, yes? Then...," she hesitated, confusion burning her unhappy features. "May I steal you away, too?"

[ 769 | 2674 ]

Cheshire was right, in a way. After trying to figure out what this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach was, Kasumi realized that it would be easier not to look into it too much. Understanding the Arrancar would only lead to more complicated dilemmas, and that was the last thing she needed right now. For once she had managed to get a somewhat clear view on matters, on her feelings – on her life. The girl wasn't quite ready to give it up, not yet. She wanted to enjoy this peaceful – though odd – sensation of knowing what she would do next. And Cheshire was putting sticks into her new, spinning wheels.

Ruffled by the Arrancars words she sighed quietly. Her face twisted into a pained expression for a mere second, and then Kasumi frowned. Eyes slid over the charcoal black hair, following the finger before going up and meet Cheshire's gaze.

“No, you don't get it. I don't differentiate, I don't see you as different.” Trying to spell it out for Cheshire, she only ended up staring at her with slightly upset eyes. Somehow she had managed to claim a spot near Kasumi's heart – one too close for the girl's liking. In order to hide that fact, she had to cover her tracks by applying something that Takua had taught her. The fact that she did believe it, but simply hadn't had the wisdom to put into words the way he had, helped the words to come out naturally.

“You, as everyone else around us – here, on Earth, in Las Noches – are a soul. Differently shaped than I am, but a soul regardless. That's why you being an Arrancar doesn't have to mean that you're bad or good, one's birth doesn't automatically makes them something. They make themselves into whatever they are.”

Did it make sense? Did it make all of them equal? Could they be whatever they wanted to be or would their birth stab them in the back further down the road no matter where they'd try to go?

For a second she wasn't even sure if the was trying to explain to Cheshire how she thought, or was giving herself hope now that she had landed in a reality with endless possibilities. No matter what the answer was, she needed power – lots of it – if she wanted to paint her own picture.

So.. yes. In a way, the fact that you don't appear hostile has to d-.

She had planned to say it, had already thought it and was pretty much ready to continue her point that was rapidly turning into a monologue when Cheshire's words shocked her into a deep silence. From the look in those honey-like orbs she knew that they were equally confused.

What is she..?

A part of her wanted to believe those words to be true. Of all things, Kasumi had always longed for acceptance and warmth. That was the reason why she kept her distance now. While her fingers wanted to take a gentle hold of Cheshire's hands she remained where she was. If she would take that step, if she would hug this woman, then chances were real that she would slip down onto the same path that she had barely managed to get off from.

Caring too much was dangerous. Neither of them knew each other enough to really care – her rational side was certain of that, but her heart was heavy with emotions.

'Remember what happened last time? Remember how she used you? How she manipulated you into -'

Yes, Kasumi still knew.

“My place is here.”

She quietly mumbled the words, as if she was hoping that they wouldn't reach their destination and by that twist the reality into something else. Preferably a universe where she could go without having to worry about guilt and consequences. It didn't work and Kasumi groaned inwardly. Her eyes widened slightly right after, she felt herself tremble briefly. Admittedly, she wasn't sure whether that last part was simply her imagination.

Blinking slowly, she shook the feeling off as best as she could and then turned towards the exit of the alley, secretly hoping that someone would give her an excuse to leave. As if she couldn't leave whenever she wanted to. Pathetic, really.

It was only when Vör poured her strength into Kasumi's stance that she straightened up again. Gradually gaining back some of her previous attitude she forced her chin up and felt the problem shrink in front of her eyes.

“Another time, I might go with you.”

Now that she thought about it, that was only fair. Back in the world of the living the Arrancar had refused to go with her to the Seireitei – a good thing if you were reasonable about the possible escapade and all its dangerous sides, but that was beside the current matter.

“Cheshire,”

Queen, she had wanted to be called.

“if Era-.” No, she vigorously shook her head from side to side.

“When he falls, don't pick up the crown. Just don't.” The icy stance she held did nothing to the melting words she spoke.

“Let them fight for it, let them bleed out.” Because they would. So many would try to sink their claws and fangs into an empty title. She didn't doubt it, didn't care for it either, however, that didn't stop her from getting disturbed by the idea of Cheshire being torn apart by greedy Hollow mouths and bony Arrancar hands.


Words: 912/ 2873

She hadn't really realized what words had left her mouth until they had already been spoken. Her declaration of affection fell heavy from her lips, though voicing this weight didn't lift it from her shoulders: if anything, she felt heavier. She took in a quiet breath, watching Kasumi carefully and waiting for her reply. She couldn't rescind the question, could she? She couldn't take this back? A part of her knew she wouldn't have even if it was a possibility.

Lying to yourself only got you so far. Cheshire had been doing enough of that for a long, long time. Just a little bit of honesty, once small step - that's all she needed. Maybe now, regardless of how this turned out, she'd get a night of sleep that didn't have her waking up gasping for air and trying to reach for people that were no longer there. 

The Shinigami gave her answer and Cheshire knew that she was right. Knew she never had a chance at taking the girl away. Knew she could force her to agree if she wanted it badly enough - knew she couldn't do that again. Ah, she hated learning from her mistakes. She hated the scars her regrets left on her psyche that she could no longer ignore. She only swallowed, once, her tired body leaning back very precariously and resting her head on the wall; eyes casting upwards, tracing any intricacies above her.

Was it a wounded pride she was tending to, now? Avoiding the haggard pain of rejection she had grown far too accustomed to within these past few months? A part of her wondered if she would hurt Kasumi, if she was still capable of snapping under this pressure and murdering the girl. A part of her, deeper and quieter, knew that it always remained a possibility. Nobody would ever be safe from her ever looming instability - not even herself. "Another time, another place," she muttered under her breath, echoing the sentiment of Kasumi's words.

The exact same line she had worded to Nanami, a stark realization blooming in Cheshire's thoughts as she mulled over this. A sentimentality she solemnly remembered in Jian's eyes; expressing that in another universe, another time - this might have been possible. Ah, Cheshire thought. I get it now. Her gaze sluggishly returned to Kasumi, offering the white-haired girl a small, sad smile in response. I'll never find a right time, will I? I'll never be in the right place. I... no one will ever make the right decisions.

This is just my fate, isn't it?, and even as she considered these words she didn't feel the crushing despair of hopelessness. No, rather, she accepted this fact; she was beginning to accept this, in a very melancholic and desperately "matter of fact" sense. Her life was meant to play out in a series of ifs, maybes and buts. Just a second too late or too early, a word out of place or off from what she should have said or heard. It was mistake after mistake, her own and those of others.

Does that make me a mistake? 

Kasumi continued speaking, words hiding a deeper meaning of care - enough that it dragged Cheshire from her spiraling thoughts, wavering honey centering. It centered that fragile portion of the Arrancar's soul, as well, and she clung to the speech to steady herself. Kasumi was... warning her? In a way, but... it wasn't a threat, not like you'd expect it to be. It was out of compassion? Worry? Concern?

"Kasumi...," she spoke slowly, processing the girl's intent while trying to think of something to say in reply. She had already decided she wasn't going for the crown again, not after her initial meeting with Erasmus. Or so she told herself: but outright avoiding the concept of herself ever being Queen again was healthier for her, wasn't it? She already accepted something she had known all along, that the title wasn't what she needed even if it's what she wanted. And even then it didn't actually serve to sate that desire, either. The King had very clearly snarled that clarification into her face when he dropped her out the window of his castle.

"I... I won't," she managed, almost choking on the words with how tight her throat felt. She couldn't tell, really, if it was because she was remembering things she had all but blocked out or because Kasumi was looking out for her; in her own, strange way. Feelings, Cheshire noted, were not her forte. All of these new experiences - all of the new emotions she was experiencing - were really starting to wear on her.

No, that wasn't quite right. They had been exhausting her for awhile now; that's why she was here, after all, with dark, tight lines framing her eyes. That's why she was here, after all, to tie up one last loose end and one more lingering sentiment. 

So she stepped forward, now, moving off the wall in slow, sluggish motions. She sighed through her nose, not meeting Kasumi's stare anymore even as she began to walk towards and past her. The closer she got the more anticipation swelled - tightening in her chest - until she was taking that step next to the Shinigami. Finally she whispered, untangling the horrid knots in her chest that had been the cause for these recent sleepless nights. Kasumi would know, too, why those next two words left Cheshire's mouth.

"I'm sorry."

[ 909 | 3583 ]

Carefully Kasumi held the image of a bloodied Cheshire twisting on the white Hueco Mundo sands beneath the cruelty of another, stronger Hollow-breed at a safe distance. There was no need to make herself paranoid over something that was very unlikely to happen. Cheshire was strong, stronger than most of her kind. Knowing that and the fact that she didn't plan on taking the crown should have been enough to dismiss the silly thoughts of needing to protect an Arrancar. The very notion should have been ridiculous, yet it wasn't.

The reason to why she felt so strongly about someone she was only meeting for the second time was unfathomable even to Kasumi herself. No logical explanation existed for her need to keep her safe, to make sure that this honey-eyed female with charcoal strands remained completely unharmed. Even while she had been angry at the Arrancar, she had still felt doubt about hurting her – wouldn't have hurt her unless she had been left with no other choice. Life-threatening circumstances seemed to be the only lines that could possibly form a painting where she would use violence against her purring friend. Or sad friend, as was the case now.

Blinking slowly she watched her move closer. With worry in her blue eyes Kasumi tried to catch Cheshire's gaze but failed to do so when the latter didn't look into her direction. In that moment she felt like taking a hold of her chin again and force her to turn. Her hand was already making its way towards its target when she remembered the reaction her gesture had brought forth the last time.

“Cheshire?”

One step brought her right in front of the Arrancar, however, unlike the last time Kasumi didn't touch her. Instead of placing her fingers onto her skin she simply twisted her body enough for their eyes to meet again.

“I forgive you.”

Holding her eyes for a long moment she wanted to make sure that her words had been heard. There was no need for her to worry about what had happened anymore. Kasumi wasn't someone to hold grudges when she was the only one to blame. Of course, she had wanted to hear the words, had wanted to know that the Arrancar had at least thought about it.

Am I as soft as I've always been then..?

No, she wouldn't accept that. In order to forgive one had to be strong. It took strength and courage to let go and move on. Yes, she could live with that. With taking the responsibility for her own actions instead of blaming them on others.

“I was weak then,” She took a deep breath, clenched her hand into a tight fist. Then exhaled and raised her chin higher. From now on she would not be weak or helpless, she would become harder and stronger.

“full of doubts and silly, broken dreams.”

Luckily an Arrancar had shown me how silly I've been all of this time.

The easiest part now was to blame Takua for all of her goodhearted feelings towards Cheshire. Unfortunately, Vör didn't see it as a good idea to lie already. A soft smile appeared on Kasumi's lips as she opened her fist. Silvery strands of reiryoku braided into each other with the precision of a surgeon. Tighter, closer, stronger. Vör allowed for the rose to form with stem and thorns. Transparent blue with frost kissed petals. Ice cold.

“May all of us attain the impossible.” The words were out before she knew what she was trying to tell her. That left her with no other option but to hand the rose with the same small smile curling her lips upward towards the clear sky above.

“It's time for me to go, duty calls. I have no doubts that we will see each other again.” They better, because Kasumi wasn't ready to bury her curiosity regarding this proud yet fragile Arrancar.

“Take good care of yourself, Cheshire.”

With the flower taken from her, the young Shinigami used her free fingers to briefly touch a strand of dark hair. She brushed it aside with care before allowing her gaze to harden to a stormy grey. It was time to fight, time to throw out the invaders and clean up the mess some of them had caused. Cheshire didn't need to be thrown out, Kasumi was pretty sure that she would leave once she did whatever she had to do. She trusted the Arrancar to do just that, for her own safety. Then, the connection between silky hair and cold, pale skin came to an abrupt end with the sharp sound of Shunpo.


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