So... I wrote a fanfic.

That uh... was not the kind of response I expected...

From a glance over the first chapter it seems to be well written. At this point I haven't really watched enough naruto to understand the overarching plot or appreciate it, but I can certainly comment on the excellent quality out of what I read.

From a glance over the first chapter it seems to be well written. At this point I haven't really watched enough naruto to understand the overarching plot or appreciate it, but I can certainly comment on the excellent quality out of what I read.

Thank you. :-)

Hello, hi!

I read it!

You wanted criticism, and ...I'll try my best to give you just that! :S

There are a couple of spelling mistakes here and there, a random word unrelated to the rest of the sentence, stuff like that.

The story seems fine so far, a bit well, not to my taste, but that's not really your problem.

You could use breaks, in the editing screen, to separate the story from authors' notes, ...or when you switch povs (I think you mentioned that for future chapters).

....was that helpful?

Lastly, a suggestion.
Naruto is...well, he's not exactly stupid, he's just a bit..slow? And I've read a bunch of fanfics that exaggerate this. People write him off as a vegetable, and well, it's annoying.

I'm too lazy/embarrassed to log on and follow you, but you might as well consider this a follow.

Dang it, I went over that at least 3 times before publishing it, I can't believe I still missed that stuff. *bangs head on desk*

TBH I'm not sure what you mean by page breaks here, or editing page for that matter. I guess that's because I used the "upload" option instead of the type/copy option? Or maybe I'm just missing it. This is my first fic, so I haven't explored all of the options a whole lot. 

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of taste does it not fit with? I only ask because I want to make sure the first chapter is accurately projecting what kind of story I have in mind.

And I had no intention of making Naruto stupid, I just don't want to go too far the other way like I've also read a lot. My intent is to portray his intelligence as it is in the anime/manga, hyper and a bit oblivious but not actually dumb. 

Thank you very much for the feedback.