Post by Consequence on Feb 13, 2017 10:32:33 GMT -5
Hello!
Formally, as Shun stated in his Code of Conduct thread, I've abdicated at Site Owner and yielded the keys back over to Shun. This was effective last week. I'd like to spend just a minute going into why, and then expanding, so we can all move on with our lives.
First, in order to understand me, you must accept that I am an overcommitted man. I sign up for a lot of stuff. Historically, this has been a problem for me as it usually leads me to disappoint people I make promises to, including myself. After I had some time to learn more about me, I was able to achieve a balance. Yes, this balance was fragile and delicate, but I had it. Enter doggo in October.
I love my puppy to the moon and back and I am not, under any circumstance, about to shave down the amount of time I spend with her or give to her. So, this new variable everything else started to collapse in on me. I'm reasonably good at my job and I have a good balance there, so nowhere to trim hours. Not touching puppy time, so no hours to trim there. So, I shaved a bit of sleep and I shaved a bit of BG time (albeit unintentionally) and here we are three months later. Shit's a bit messy.
I am stretched too thin in all facets of my life.
Second, in order to understand me, you must accept that I care very deeply about BG. When I engineer ideas or scheme for what to do, or what to write, I commit a lot of time to doing so. A lesson I learned a long time ago was 'the number one factor in creativity is time'. This is why I don't shit out 1,000 words in 30 minutes for a post. This is why I don't instantly respond with hairbrained ideas when people ask me for power help. This is why my "updates" sit on boards for 2 weeks of edits and digestion before I publish anything. I simply think--a lot--before leaping. This essentially leaves me incapable of doing "catch up mode" when combined with everything else. So when I fall behind? The only cure is to give me dedicated time. And anyone who is aware of how much staff turnover we've had in the last year would know this was not something I've been given.
Combine this with the fact I have three or four characters, depending on how real you want to believe Petra is. And combine this with the other...tensions present on the site, and I have found myself really wondering why I would bother to endure so much, given that I basically "created the problem for myself". So I decided not to.
1) I've handed the site back to Shun. He is the only person out there that I have the necessary trust with in order to hand this big beautiful thing over. He is also the only person out there I can demonstrably say knows how to run the place and do so successfully. I have full confidence that with me continuing to help him with Requests and talk him out of bad ideas from my new role as 'that shadowy figure in the back', he'll guide us to an amazing and even better future.
2) I've reduced a couple IRL commitments of mine that I didn't super enjoy anyway. I'll have to find a different way to maintain those relationships, and that's okay.
3) I need to reduce my character count and condense my efforts in that regard. Octavia takes a -tremendous- amount of effort for me to write. I have to listen to music and look at images for like 20 or 30 minutes every time I am going to write her. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly proud of what I've done with her and what I've created. I love the character. It's without a doubt the most intriguing and interesting mess of traits I've ever assembled. But it's also really tough to do for me because it's complicated. Could it get better with time? Probably, yeah, almost certainly. But when can I give it the practice? I don't know.
So to this end--there's no way to sugar coat it--I need to reduce my efforts to just Genki, and the very occasional Consequence post, for the foreseeable future. I'll still honor my commitment with Kirito for Octavia, and there is still one thread I've talked with TK about doing via Consequence. But everything else with either Consequence, Petra, or Octavia will have to be effectively canceled. Octavia will come back one day, but I've no idea when. Maybe this summer.
I'm really sorry. For a lot of things. I know that no one wants me to sit here and gush apologies or anything like that, or fall on my sword, et cetera (maybe you do?). But I have to do this if I am going to continue to exist on BG, and that's a thing I very much want to do.
To anyone who is reamed by my decision to condense down to Genki only, please reach out to me and I'll help you find a way around what I've had to do.
Thank you and happy writing.
Formally, as Shun stated in his Code of Conduct thread, I've abdicated at Site Owner and yielded the keys back over to Shun. This was effective last week. I'd like to spend just a minute going into why, and then expanding, so we can all move on with our lives.
First, in order to understand me, you must accept that I am an overcommitted man. I sign up for a lot of stuff. Historically, this has been a problem for me as it usually leads me to disappoint people I make promises to, including myself. After I had some time to learn more about me, I was able to achieve a balance. Yes, this balance was fragile and delicate, but I had it. Enter doggo in October.
I love my puppy to the moon and back and I am not, under any circumstance, about to shave down the amount of time I spend with her or give to her. So, this new variable everything else started to collapse in on me. I'm reasonably good at my job and I have a good balance there, so nowhere to trim hours. Not touching puppy time, so no hours to trim there. So, I shaved a bit of sleep and I shaved a bit of BG time (albeit unintentionally) and here we are three months later. Shit's a bit messy.
I am stretched too thin in all facets of my life.
Second, in order to understand me, you must accept that I care very deeply about BG. When I engineer ideas or scheme for what to do, or what to write, I commit a lot of time to doing so. A lesson I learned a long time ago was 'the number one factor in creativity is time'. This is why I don't shit out 1,000 words in 30 minutes for a post. This is why I don't instantly respond with hairbrained ideas when people ask me for power help. This is why my "updates" sit on boards for 2 weeks of edits and digestion before I publish anything. I simply think--a lot--before leaping. This essentially leaves me incapable of doing "catch up mode" when combined with everything else. So when I fall behind? The only cure is to give me dedicated time. And anyone who is aware of how much staff turnover we've had in the last year would know this was not something I've been given.
Combine this with the fact I have three or four characters, depending on how real you want to believe Petra is. And combine this with the other...tensions present on the site, and I have found myself really wondering why I would bother to endure so much, given that I basically "created the problem for myself". So I decided not to.
1) I've handed the site back to Shun. He is the only person out there that I have the necessary trust with in order to hand this big beautiful thing over. He is also the only person out there I can demonstrably say knows how to run the place and do so successfully. I have full confidence that with me continuing to help him with Requests and talk him out of bad ideas from my new role as 'that shadowy figure in the back', he'll guide us to an amazing and even better future.
2) I've reduced a couple IRL commitments of mine that I didn't super enjoy anyway. I'll have to find a different way to maintain those relationships, and that's okay.
3) I need to reduce my character count and condense my efforts in that regard. Octavia takes a -tremendous- amount of effort for me to write. I have to listen to music and look at images for like 20 or 30 minutes every time I am going to write her. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly proud of what I've done with her and what I've created. I love the character. It's without a doubt the most intriguing and interesting mess of traits I've ever assembled. But it's also really tough to do for me because it's complicated. Could it get better with time? Probably, yeah, almost certainly. But when can I give it the practice? I don't know.
So to this end--there's no way to sugar coat it--I need to reduce my efforts to just Genki, and the very occasional Consequence post, for the foreseeable future. I'll still honor my commitment with Kirito for Octavia, and there is still one thread I've talked with TK about doing via Consequence. But everything else with either Consequence, Petra, or Octavia will have to be effectively canceled. Octavia will come back one day, but I've no idea when. Maybe this summer.
I'm really sorry. For a lot of things. I know that no one wants me to sit here and gush apologies or anything like that, or fall on my sword, et cetera (maybe you do?). But I have to do this if I am going to continue to exist on BG, and that's a thing I very much want to do.
To anyone who is reamed by my decision to condense down to Genki only, please reach out to me and I'll help you find a way around what I've had to do.
Thank you and happy writing.
