Post by Mako Fujita on Jul 31, 2017 11:52:46 GMT -5
WARNING: Mention of suicide, depression, murder, sexual and physical abuse, as well as other adult themes.
Darkness-- and pain. The sting of his flesh tearing, of his hair being pulled as he was violated-- the sensation of blood rolling down his legs, of teeth, sinking into his flesh so painfully that his flesh was pierced as he was barrated-- useless, weak, cursed, the reason everyone went wrong. Pain pulsed in his chest, he felt his throat clench as a hand wrapped around it-- too strong, there was no point fighting it. No point fighting him-- the man that called himself his father, the man that had taught him what strength was, what fear was, what pain was. He felt like he was drowning in it-- the sickening scent of his body tinged with blood and other fluids-- unable to escape the pain, unable to escape the man's grip as he held it all over his head like an invisible leash.
The pain blossomed through his stomach--
Weak.
Mako's eyes shot open, sitting up in the bed he had begun to sleep in-- days ago, he had gone to Zabel to inform her he intended to become a monster. Days ago, he had seen that sad look in her eyes as she smiled weakly, and told him that his life was his choice without words. Days ago, he had excited her home with a sensation he wasn't familiar with in his stomach-- fear. A fear he had not experienced for many years-- because now he was living with Yuki and Yuuta-- which meant he was close to him. He was scared-- terrified, that the man would find him. That he would do to Yuki, to Yuuta, what he had done to himself.
He had this nightmare every night he had been here-- every time it was the same, and every time he woke up to the same voice. Weak, it said. But he knew he was weak-- why did it insist on saying it? The Shinigami had called this his Zanpaktou-- that meant that the voice was, most likely, his inner spirit. Then why was it telling him what he already knew? The tone was different, it wasn't as if the voice was accusing him-- it was as if it was talking about something else-- but who else, what else, could it be referring too? Mako couldn't understand-- and it was bothering him, amplifying the nightmares even more.
As per usual-- it was early. Too early for the other two to be awake unless Yuki was coming home late from pulling an all-nighter. His hands slowly pushed himself from his bedding downstairs, and wordlessly he rolled it up, tucking it away to the side against the wall as he slowly allowed his gaze to lower toward his hands.
A slow breath escaped his lips-- he wasn't here. They would be in the Academy soon enough, and then he would never have to come back to this place again-- he would be free.
Weak.
He felt his stomach clench-- the ghost of the whisper echoing from his memory, for a brief moment he thought the spirit was talking to him outside of his dreams-- but no. It was just his memory, echoing thoughts that he didn't want to think about. He shoved them from his mind and pushed himself to stand-- he needed to do his morning regimen, a trip into the forest to make sure he wouldn't disturb anyone would work fine. It wasn't like he would meet that man out there either-- he had avoided the forestry for some reason. Moving forward, he would try to quietly move toward the door-- trying not to disturb the two slumbering upstairs.
Tags: Yuuta Yasui
Post Words: 603
Total Words: 603
Darkness-- and pain. The sting of his flesh tearing, of his hair being pulled as he was violated-- the sensation of blood rolling down his legs, of teeth, sinking into his flesh so painfully that his flesh was pierced as he was barrated-- useless, weak, cursed, the reason everyone went wrong. Pain pulsed in his chest, he felt his throat clench as a hand wrapped around it-- too strong, there was no point fighting it. No point fighting him-- the man that called himself his father, the man that had taught him what strength was, what fear was, what pain was. He felt like he was drowning in it-- the sickening scent of his body tinged with blood and other fluids-- unable to escape the pain, unable to escape the man's grip as he held it all over his head like an invisible leash.
The pain blossomed through his stomach--
Weak.
Mako's eyes shot open, sitting up in the bed he had begun to sleep in-- days ago, he had gone to Zabel to inform her he intended to become a monster. Days ago, he had seen that sad look in her eyes as she smiled weakly, and told him that his life was his choice without words. Days ago, he had excited her home with a sensation he wasn't familiar with in his stomach-- fear. A fear he had not experienced for many years-- because now he was living with Yuki and Yuuta-- which meant he was close to him. He was scared-- terrified, that the man would find him. That he would do to Yuki, to Yuuta, what he had done to himself.
He had this nightmare every night he had been here-- every time it was the same, and every time he woke up to the same voice. Weak, it said. But he knew he was weak-- why did it insist on saying it? The Shinigami had called this his Zanpaktou-- that meant that the voice was, most likely, his inner spirit. Then why was it telling him what he already knew? The tone was different, it wasn't as if the voice was accusing him-- it was as if it was talking about something else-- but who else, what else, could it be referring too? Mako couldn't understand-- and it was bothering him, amplifying the nightmares even more.
As per usual-- it was early. Too early for the other two to be awake unless Yuki was coming home late from pulling an all-nighter. His hands slowly pushed himself from his bedding downstairs, and wordlessly he rolled it up, tucking it away to the side against the wall as he slowly allowed his gaze to lower toward his hands.
A slow breath escaped his lips-- he wasn't here. They would be in the Academy soon enough, and then he would never have to come back to this place again-- he would be free.
Weak.
He felt his stomach clench-- the ghost of the whisper echoing from his memory, for a brief moment he thought the spirit was talking to him outside of his dreams-- but no. It was just his memory, echoing thoughts that he didn't want to think about. He shoved them from his mind and pushed himself to stand-- he needed to do his morning regimen, a trip into the forest to make sure he wouldn't disturb anyone would work fine. It wasn't like he would meet that man out there either-- he had avoided the forestry for some reason. Moving forward, he would try to quietly move toward the door-- trying not to disturb the two slumbering upstairs.
Tags: Yuuta Yasui
Post Words: 603
Total Words: 603