Post by Machie on Feb 17, 2018 21:21:13 GMT -5
I rewrote my first power in an attempt to clarify how it works. When I initially designed it, my understanding of the site mechanics weren't that great. I re-read the threads and the updated versions so that I could make a better product. I kept the text flavor very similar and updated the effects so that it's easier to understand and makes more sense.
Here's the original
Here's how I would like it to read
Here's the original
[ STRENGTH OF THE WORLD ]
First Release, Shaken
Power Effects:When Machie's chain whip comes into contact with an opponent, Nasima emits reiryouku at painfully high frequencies. This can stun opponents temporarily if Machie's zanpakuto resonance outweighs their defense stat.
Power Description: Nasima makes rather disturbing sounds, reminiscent of a hollow's roar. At a distance, these groans and moans are merely unsettling. Up close, the noise is more ominous, inducing a sensation of dread. In close contact, when Machie manages to snag an opponent, Nasima's cries grow louder and much more painful, making opponents' ears ring and making them dizzy for a few seconds. For weaker adversaries, Nasima's cries are almost unbearable and can floor them for a few minutes. here
First Release, Shaken
Power Effects:When Machie's chain whip comes into contact with an opponent, Nasima emits reiryouku at painfully high frequencies. This can stun opponents temporarily if Machie's zanpakuto resonance outweighs their defense stat.
Power Description: Nasima makes rather disturbing sounds, reminiscent of a hollow's roar. At a distance, these groans and moans are merely unsettling. Up close, the noise is more ominous, inducing a sensation of dread. In close contact, when Machie manages to snag an opponent, Nasima's cries grow louder and much more painful, making opponents' ears ring and making them dizzy for a few seconds. For weaker adversaries, Nasima's cries are almost unbearable and can floor them for a few minutes. here
[ STRENGTH OF THE WORLD ]
First Release, Haunted
Release phrase: Qué acepte su castigación (Accept your punishment)
Power Effects: This ability acts as a binding that seeks to trap opponents; she must trap at least one limb of an opponent to initiate the technique. The strength of this technique relies on Machie’s zanjutsu skill.
Power Description: Nasima emits disturbing groans and wails and a generally toxic aura that induces a sense of dread and can make an opponent ill. The effects are strongest when Machie manages to snare her opponents within the chain whip. Stronger opponents may be hardly affected, equivalent opponents are slowed, and weaker ones risk complete immobilization due to their suffering.
First Release, Haunted
Release phrase: Qué acepte su castigación (Accept your punishment)
Power Effects: This ability acts as a binding that seeks to trap opponents; she must trap at least one limb of an opponent to initiate the technique. The strength of this technique relies on Machie’s zanjutsu skill.
Power Description: Nasima emits disturbing groans and wails and a generally toxic aura that induces a sense of dread and can make an opponent ill. The effects are strongest when Machie manages to snare her opponents within the chain whip. Stronger opponents may be hardly affected, equivalent opponents are slowed, and weaker ones risk complete immobilization due to their suffering.
