Post by Victoria on Mar 21, 2018 21:49:26 GMT -5
'I dream of days long past. Days when things weren't so dark and I wasn't so damn old. When I wasn't known as 'Iron Fist' or "Wolf'. I was just Victoria then. Rank and file then. Nothing special, just another soul in black and whites given the order to fight our enemy wherever they may be and send the souls of humans on to their afterlife.
I never expected to live this long,' Victoria thought towards the red coals in the brazier in her normally vacant office. She's started doing talking to the coals to vent the stresses when they became too much a few years ago when the sickness was at its highest mortality rate. 'I don't think anyone believes they'll live to see some one thousand and several hundred years. Most of them in a job class where the average life span is measured in decades not centuries. Yet.
Yet, here I sit. A relic of a time long gone and mostly forgotten. Surrounded by people who haven't a clue where we came from. Filled with ideals and dreams. Goals and ambitions. Things I cast aside for the most part so long ago I cant even hope to remember when exactly. They worry about their petty little things. It is their right. They must have something to drive them forward. I do too. Its not as noble as theirs that I can be certain of. They dream dreams of good things. While I dream of my death.'
Victoria paused as she stirred the coals momentarily before settling back under her woolen blanket.
'I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ready to die. I've been ready for years. You have to make ready for such things. Be at peace with your pseudo-immortality and comfortable with the fact that someday you too will pass on. Its just a part of this job. I've held so many as they took their last telling them to hold on while screaming for the medic. Stood between a fatally wounded comrade and our hated foes to stop them from being devoured. Death is all around me but still hasn't found me. I wonder if I'm to live forever?
I hope not. Being as old as I am is lonely enough. I couldn't imagine being thousands of years old and still doing this job. Or even existing.'
She shifted the blanket up to cover her nose. Even with the brazier the air was biting this night.
'I shouldn't say I dream of actively dying. Its less a dream and more something I look for. Over the years everyone I've cared about has gone on ahead. I'm the last of my class still in service much less alive. They've likely reincarnated, died and reincarnated again and again over the years. I've probably sent a few of them here or purified them if they broke. None of them would recognize me anyways I bet. I'm much more damaged now then when they knew me. Didn't have these.'
Victoria rubbed her burnt shoulder and the raw skin of her right cheek.
WC- 513
I never expected to live this long,' Victoria thought towards the red coals in the brazier in her normally vacant office. She's started doing talking to the coals to vent the stresses when they became too much a few years ago when the sickness was at its highest mortality rate. 'I don't think anyone believes they'll live to see some one thousand and several hundred years. Most of them in a job class where the average life span is measured in decades not centuries. Yet.
Yet, here I sit. A relic of a time long gone and mostly forgotten. Surrounded by people who haven't a clue where we came from. Filled with ideals and dreams. Goals and ambitions. Things I cast aside for the most part so long ago I cant even hope to remember when exactly. They worry about their petty little things. It is their right. They must have something to drive them forward. I do too. Its not as noble as theirs that I can be certain of. They dream dreams of good things. While I dream of my death.'
Victoria paused as she stirred the coals momentarily before settling back under her woolen blanket.
'I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ready to die. I've been ready for years. You have to make ready for such things. Be at peace with your pseudo-immortality and comfortable with the fact that someday you too will pass on. Its just a part of this job. I've held so many as they took their last telling them to hold on while screaming for the medic. Stood between a fatally wounded comrade and our hated foes to stop them from being devoured. Death is all around me but still hasn't found me. I wonder if I'm to live forever?
I hope not. Being as old as I am is lonely enough. I couldn't imagine being thousands of years old and still doing this job. Or even existing.'
She shifted the blanket up to cover her nose. Even with the brazier the air was biting this night.
'I shouldn't say I dream of actively dying. Its less a dream and more something I look for. Over the years everyone I've cared about has gone on ahead. I'm the last of my class still in service much less alive. They've likely reincarnated, died and reincarnated again and again over the years. I've probably sent a few of them here or purified them if they broke. None of them would recognize me anyways I bet. I'm much more damaged now then when they knew me. Didn't have these.'
Victoria rubbed her burnt shoulder and the raw skin of her right cheek.
WC- 513
