Post by Takahiro Hidekawa on Jun 15, 2018 21:09:18 GMT -5
"Where are you going today, Sparky?"
"Don't call me that."
"Fine. Where are you going, Kazuto."
"Church, Rex."
"On a Thursday? There's no service, your dad is a believer of Shinto, and you're not religious."
"Oh. You wouldn't know. My mother's parents were Orthodox Christians, not Shinto."
"Your mother? Wait, wha-"
The door to the apartment closed before Rex could get out another word.
It's been 20 years today, huh. Time's weird I guess.
Time really WAS weird. It had been five years since he'd left the Seireitei, four and a half since he'd killed Levi, and one since he'd had to leave his nice Outer-City house. It was expensive, and while he could have kept living there for a good few years, Kazuto figured it would be better to save what money he still had from his work with the Yakuza for a more sustainable lifestyle. He'd lived with Rex and Brianna for a few months now, but they still knew very little about him. It made sense: he was pretty tight lipped about his past. Frankly, it surprised Kazuto that they even bothered to associate themselves with him. He had killed their boss, after all, but maybe they'd moved on. Much of the rest of Silver Scales hadn't, that much was sure. Without a real leader, much of the blame for the group's dissolution had fallen to him once Levi died, and it certainly was not misplaced. That had been the first time he'd had to kill somebody he didn't want to kill. In some ways, it been the day that he'd accepted who he was; a murderer, a shinigami, and a monster.
We both know that's not entirely true, don't we.
Yeah, I guess we do; you certainly didn't help much back then though, Usotsuki.
Kazuto, back then it was you who wasn't helping. It took you a while to come to terms with things.
...Yeah, I guess so, Hana.
Of course, despite his own personal changes, he'd still kept the gigai Levi had given him: there was no return to the Seireitei for him, it simply didn't make sense, even if there had been some plague of sort from what he had heard. While he had come to accept who he was now, Kazuto didn't doubt that the Soul Society still would lock him up on sight. Places just didn't change that quickly, and neither did their residents.
Like he'd just thought; time was weird.
And that brings us back to Kazuto walking to a church, celebrating it being 20 years from something.
More specifically, his mother's death.
By the time he had reached the church, it was already near noon. The building was traditionally shaped, the largest of it's kind in Karakura Town. It was a large Church, with the Chapel itself being made of some sort of grey brick, and a bell tower made of the same substance in the back. It was truly what you would think of when envisioning a traditional Christian Church. It was odd too, because this building was rather large when compared to the relatively small Christian population of Karakura. With all the spiritual activity and the fact that this was indeed Japan, the majority of the town's residents were Buddhists, Hindus, and Shintoists.
After entering, Kazuto briskly sat down at one of the benches closest to the altar although it didn't really matter which one he chose, as the place appeared to be empty.
No that's wrong. There's probably somebody in the confessional.
It didn't matter, he was here on his own business at least for now.
Closing his eyes, Kazuto didn't exactly prey, but he certainly started talking.
Hey Mom. I know you're not listening, or rather, can't, and I know it's probably stupid that I've even bothered to come to the Church that your funeral ceremony was held in; after all, you yourself weren't religious, it was your parents who set up the funeral. Who knows, maybe I'm remembering wrong. After all, I was only nine when you died, and I'm almost thirty now, so it would be understandable. Wow... that's crazy to even think about. I'm almost thirty. Come to think of it, I'm not sure how old you were when you died, but you can't have been much older than I am now. Anyway, sorry for getting off track. I just want to let you know, um... how much I miss you. And how big of an impact you have on my life every day, even though I'm not technically alive anymore. I'm sorry for being such a terrible kid when I was younger. I know I yelled a lot, and ran around too much, and was rude and threw tantru-... yeah. Regardless, like I said, I know I'm definitely talking to nobody, but on the off chance that you dying was some stupid fever dream, or I'm in a coma, or you weren't killed by a Hollow twenty years ago... please let me know. You knew just as well as I do that the church I'm talking to you from gets the wrong idea about the afterlife all the time, so please, if you're out there, find me. I miss you so goddamn much. Your son loves you. I will always love you.
Kazuto took a deep breath, a sad smile making its way across his face as he looked downwards, responding to nothing but his own thoughts. He felt a spot of wetness come into existence on the back of his hand, but simply shrugged it off, his newborn tears drying themselves just as quickly as they were created. Standing up, he began to walk towards the door.
Then he paused. Looking backwards, he saw the single open door to the the confessional booth.
He kept walking. This time, however, he was walking in a different direction; towards the confessional booth's entrance. Kazuto quickly sat himself down inside and closed the door, gazing through the wooden screen-type structure, seeing a clean-shaven man with bright ginger hair tied up behind his head behind it.
The priest, I assume?
Something like that.
With his inner conversations out of the way, he began one in the real world, speaking swiftly but in a somewhat unsure tone; after all, it was his first time doing this.
"...So, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to say, but here's a start. I'm not a Christian because I've lived through things that have led me to believe in other things; I just want to feel okay with some of the things I've done, I guess. Please don't lynch me."
Words: 1100
Note: Bold Italics is Usotsuki speaking, Underlined Italics is Kiri-Hana speaking, and Normal Italics is Kirito thinking or speaking in his inner world.
"Don't call me that."
"Fine. Where are you going, Kazuto."
"Church, Rex."
"On a Thursday? There's no service, your dad is a believer of Shinto, and you're not religious."
"Oh. You wouldn't know. My mother's parents were Orthodox Christians, not Shinto."
"Your mother? Wait, wha-"
The door to the apartment closed before Rex could get out another word.
It's been 20 years today, huh. Time's weird I guess.
Time really WAS weird. It had been five years since he'd left the Seireitei, four and a half since he'd killed Levi, and one since he'd had to leave his nice Outer-City house. It was expensive, and while he could have kept living there for a good few years, Kazuto figured it would be better to save what money he still had from his work with the Yakuza for a more sustainable lifestyle. He'd lived with Rex and Brianna for a few months now, but they still knew very little about him. It made sense: he was pretty tight lipped about his past. Frankly, it surprised Kazuto that they even bothered to associate themselves with him. He had killed their boss, after all, but maybe they'd moved on. Much of the rest of Silver Scales hadn't, that much was sure. Without a real leader, much of the blame for the group's dissolution had fallen to him once Levi died, and it certainly was not misplaced. That had been the first time he'd had to kill somebody he didn't want to kill. In some ways, it been the day that he'd accepted who he was; a murderer, a shinigami, and a monster.
We both know that's not entirely true, don't we.
Yeah, I guess we do; you certainly didn't help much back then though, Usotsuki.
Kazuto, back then it was you who wasn't helping. It took you a while to come to terms with things.
...Yeah, I guess so, Hana.
Of course, despite his own personal changes, he'd still kept the gigai Levi had given him: there was no return to the Seireitei for him, it simply didn't make sense, even if there had been some plague of sort from what he had heard. While he had come to accept who he was now, Kazuto didn't doubt that the Soul Society still would lock him up on sight. Places just didn't change that quickly, and neither did their residents.
Like he'd just thought; time was weird.
And that brings us back to Kazuto walking to a church, celebrating it being 20 years from something.
More specifically, his mother's death.
By the time he had reached the church, it was already near noon. The building was traditionally shaped, the largest of it's kind in Karakura Town. It was a large Church, with the Chapel itself being made of some sort of grey brick, and a bell tower made of the same substance in the back. It was truly what you would think of when envisioning a traditional Christian Church. It was odd too, because this building was rather large when compared to the relatively small Christian population of Karakura. With all the spiritual activity and the fact that this was indeed Japan, the majority of the town's residents were Buddhists, Hindus, and Shintoists.
After entering, Kazuto briskly sat down at one of the benches closest to the altar although it didn't really matter which one he chose, as the place appeared to be empty.
No that's wrong. There's probably somebody in the confessional.
It didn't matter, he was here on his own business at least for now.
Closing his eyes, Kazuto didn't exactly prey, but he certainly started talking.
Hey Mom. I know you're not listening, or rather, can't, and I know it's probably stupid that I've even bothered to come to the Church that your funeral ceremony was held in; after all, you yourself weren't religious, it was your parents who set up the funeral. Who knows, maybe I'm remembering wrong. After all, I was only nine when you died, and I'm almost thirty now, so it would be understandable. Wow... that's crazy to even think about. I'm almost thirty. Come to think of it, I'm not sure how old you were when you died, but you can't have been much older than I am now. Anyway, sorry for getting off track. I just want to let you know, um... how much I miss you. And how big of an impact you have on my life every day, even though I'm not technically alive anymore. I'm sorry for being such a terrible kid when I was younger. I know I yelled a lot, and ran around too much, and was rude and threw tantru-... yeah. Regardless, like I said, I know I'm definitely talking to nobody, but on the off chance that you dying was some stupid fever dream, or I'm in a coma, or you weren't killed by a Hollow twenty years ago... please let me know. You knew just as well as I do that the church I'm talking to you from gets the wrong idea about the afterlife all the time, so please, if you're out there, find me. I miss you so goddamn much. Your son loves you. I will always love you.
Kazuto took a deep breath, a sad smile making its way across his face as he looked downwards, responding to nothing but his own thoughts. He felt a spot of wetness come into existence on the back of his hand, but simply shrugged it off, his newborn tears drying themselves just as quickly as they were created. Standing up, he began to walk towards the door.
Then he paused. Looking backwards, he saw the single open door to the the confessional booth.
He kept walking. This time, however, he was walking in a different direction; towards the confessional booth's entrance. Kazuto quickly sat himself down inside and closed the door, gazing through the wooden screen-type structure, seeing a clean-shaven man with bright ginger hair tied up behind his head behind it.
The priest, I assume?
Something like that.
With his inner conversations out of the way, he began one in the real world, speaking swiftly but in a somewhat unsure tone; after all, it was his first time doing this.
"...So, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to say, but here's a start. I'm not a Christian because I've lived through things that have led me to believe in other things; I just want to feel okay with some of the things I've done, I guess. Please don't lynch me."
Words: 1100
Note: Bold Italics is Usotsuki speaking, Underlined Italics is Kiri-Hana speaking, and Normal Italics is Kirito thinking or speaking in his inner world.
