Post by Takahiro Hidekawa on Jun 19, 2018 21:01:25 GMT -5
Usotsuki.
"Be quiet."
Usotsuki.
"Shut it."
Usotsuki.
"Shut the hell up, you beast!"
He was a ghost, his screams inaudible to any of the mundane humans that walked on the street below him, yet he was still wasting breath yelling at empty air. No, yelling at something inside of him. Or... no, not even that: yelling at himself, apparently, if Tokiyo Fujikagi could be trusted. No, that wasn't right. It couldn't be.
He’d just been wounded and absorbed this thing into his body; he was still different. He was still a good person with good intentions. Those who were in power had wronged him; he had done no wrong, obviously.
The thing's name was like an echo. A filthy, unbearably disgusting echo. It was an echo that had been with him since his encounter with Tokiyo only hours ago, and much like an old alarm clock, wouldn't stop making its annoying, earsplitting noise. He knew it was there, knew what it was, and even knew, for once, what it represented, but of course, could do nothing about it. Yeah, so maybe "it" was a part of him, but he wouldn't let that control his actions. He wouldn't let "it" embody him. He could still live, still control himself; he was still Kirito, right?
Yeah, sure. No, what he'd just lived through was proof of anything but that. He hadn’t even been able to give reason to his own death when given the opportunity; he was weak. A pitiful heap of garbage stuck with a monster inside of him; a foreign, evil force that had motivated him to do terrible things. Worse, his superiors had blamed HIM! How could they blame him for doing what he had done? On top of that, what was wrong with it? Surely they would see that they had made a mistake. Surely they would understand that his intentions were noble, and that this beast he had come to absorb was a wound of honor, not a consequence… right?
He was confused, broken, and unsure of where to go.
Was he just lying to himself? Was this thing simply a part of him now, or was he a different being from the Hollow? Was it separate from his psyche, or just a part of his mind that had just been waiting to be exploited?
Was this his fault?
He needed somebody, something to blame this on; he couldn’t bear the idea that this monster was a result of his failures… that it was completely his own creation.
Glaring up at the sky, hoping that the Soul Society could be found where mortals imagined Heaven to be, Kirito screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately looking for an answer to his problem, internally or otherwise.
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT! OGAWA, MINAMOTO, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU! YOU SIMPLY DON’T UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT SACRIFICES I'VE MADE FOR THE SOUL SOCIETY! I DID THE RIGHT THING; I’VE MADE NO MISTAKES! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO MADE THE MISTAKE! YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON I'M DEALING WITH THIS MONSTER!”
He refused to believe that he, Kirito, had done anything wrong. It simply wasn't possible; he was a warrior of justice! He upheld what was right! He killed only when necessary; never to satisfy his own desires. That was right, wasn't it? Yes, yes, of course it was... he should stop doubting himself. He was never wrong. There was no other option to him; only the right decision and the guts to make it. Of course, perfect or otherwise, even heroes needed to breathe.
Wheezing, he floating down and collapsed upon the roof of a high rise building. Maybe yelling wasn't the best idea, point proving or otherwise. After catching his breath, the voice returned, repeating its name over and over again until Kirito interrupted its little broadcast with his own little inner pep talk.
Stay in control, stay in control, stay in control!
This is my body; it is foreign.
Resist it.
Resist it.
Resist it.
And then silence.
A minute passed.
Then another.
Then, finally, upon the third minute's passing, a voice called out, responding to Kirito's own mental statement.
Resist me?
Until the day that I die, you foul creature.
Kirito meant those words more than anything. He would never live to see a day where this monster was a part of him; a day where he acknowledged it as an extension of himself. No, that day would never come. As for Kazuto Kirigaya... well, that was a different story.
Words: 750
-Complete
"Be quiet."
Usotsuki.
"Shut it."
Usotsuki.
"Shut the hell up, you beast!"
He was a ghost, his screams inaudible to any of the mundane humans that walked on the street below him, yet he was still wasting breath yelling at empty air. No, yelling at something inside of him. Or... no, not even that: yelling at himself, apparently, if Tokiyo Fujikagi could be trusted. No, that wasn't right. It couldn't be.
He’d just been wounded and absorbed this thing into his body; he was still different. He was still a good person with good intentions. Those who were in power had wronged him; he had done no wrong, obviously.
The thing's name was like an echo. A filthy, unbearably disgusting echo. It was an echo that had been with him since his encounter with Tokiyo only hours ago, and much like an old alarm clock, wouldn't stop making its annoying, earsplitting noise. He knew it was there, knew what it was, and even knew, for once, what it represented, but of course, could do nothing about it. Yeah, so maybe "it" was a part of him, but he wouldn't let that control his actions. He wouldn't let "it" embody him. He could still live, still control himself; he was still Kirito, right?
Yeah, sure. No, what he'd just lived through was proof of anything but that. He hadn’t even been able to give reason to his own death when given the opportunity; he was weak. A pitiful heap of garbage stuck with a monster inside of him; a foreign, evil force that had motivated him to do terrible things. Worse, his superiors had blamed HIM! How could they blame him for doing what he had done? On top of that, what was wrong with it? Surely they would see that they had made a mistake. Surely they would understand that his intentions were noble, and that this beast he had come to absorb was a wound of honor, not a consequence… right?
He was confused, broken, and unsure of where to go.
Was he just lying to himself? Was this thing simply a part of him now, or was he a different being from the Hollow? Was it separate from his psyche, or just a part of his mind that had just been waiting to be exploited?
Was this his fault?
He needed somebody, something to blame this on; he couldn’t bear the idea that this monster was a result of his failures… that it was completely his own creation.
Glaring up at the sky, hoping that the Soul Society could be found where mortals imagined Heaven to be, Kirito screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately looking for an answer to his problem, internally or otherwise.
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT! OGAWA, MINAMOTO, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU! YOU SIMPLY DON’T UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT SACRIFICES I'VE MADE FOR THE SOUL SOCIETY! I DID THE RIGHT THING; I’VE MADE NO MISTAKES! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO MADE THE MISTAKE! YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON I'M DEALING WITH THIS MONSTER!”
He refused to believe that he, Kirito, had done anything wrong. It simply wasn't possible; he was a warrior of justice! He upheld what was right! He killed only when necessary; never to satisfy his own desires. That was right, wasn't it? Yes, yes, of course it was... he should stop doubting himself. He was never wrong. There was no other option to him; only the right decision and the guts to make it. Of course, perfect or otherwise, even heroes needed to breathe.
Wheezing, he floating down and collapsed upon the roof of a high rise building. Maybe yelling wasn't the best idea, point proving or otherwise. After catching his breath, the voice returned, repeating its name over and over again until Kirito interrupted its little broadcast with his own little inner pep talk.
Stay in control, stay in control, stay in control!
This is my body; it is foreign.
Resist it.
Resist it.
Resist it.
And then silence.
A minute passed.
Then another.
Then, finally, upon the third minute's passing, a voice called out, responding to Kirito's own mental statement.
Resist me?
Until the day that I die, you foul creature.
Kirito meant those words more than anything. He would never live to see a day where this monster was a part of him; a day where he acknowledged it as an extension of himself. No, that day would never come. As for Kazuto Kirigaya... well, that was a different story.
Words: 750
-Complete
