Family Friends [Closed.R/Kiriko]

Kiriko sat in her office and stared down at the empty desk before her. A gusty sigh worked its way up her throat and out of her mouth as she leaned back in her chair for a moment of relaxation. Eight hours... Eight hours of non-stop paperwork. And finally she was done! It was a rare moment when Kiriko managed to clear her desk of all required files and documents. The Second tended to collect information so quickly that she knew her hard earned relief would last only an hour at most before someone else reported in with new intelligence to be added to the files. But in that moment it was a great pleasure to feel accomplished. She had done it. She was still efficient and no one could deny that.

The sunlight streamed in through the nearby window and Kiriko felt the stale air stirring around her as she stood up. It was too musty in here after all of that wet ink and crinkled paper and Kiriko approached the window to prop it open a few inches. The breeze wafted in like an excited guest and for a moment she stood there just basking in that cool brush of flowing air. It was so soft against her face and the rippling of her sleeves reminded Kiriko of the ocean on a calm day when the swells were barely visible. She breathed in deeply, taking in the luscious scents of a nearby flowering tree from the garden out back. The Annex was really a remarkable structure, so very peaceful and beautiful. Even when the Captain was gone she could still feel his presence in the layout of the building and the presence of that wonderful garden.

Her mind began to float as Kiriko took advantage of her lull in activity. It had been a rush here or there for a few days now and she was happy to get the chance to just stand there with no demands on her time. Luckily things seemed to be going smoothly. Everyone was used to Kiriko's command now and they trusted her. And orders that went out were swiftly seen to and she felt rather like a consummate leader when everything was going so well. It was still scary to be the one in charge, even though Kiriko relished the power it gave her. To make a mistake in this position could mean ruin or even death. But that was also rather exciting. She disliked her ability to turn that responsibility into a prideful game. Each time someone bowed to her and called out her title, Lieutenant, she felt a jolt of electricity run through her. Kiriko was in power now. She wasn't some lowly officer or recruit. Kiriko was second in command of the best Division in the Gotei. That was a shining feather in her cap that could not be beat and she knew it. The knowledge was insidious, sitting there and whispering sweet nothings in her head. She was better than most, stronger and smarter. Kiriko was a leader. No one could push her around now, no one could relegate her to the losing side of a matter. She was in command – her authority was imperturbable. And oh what a lovely feeling that was.

With her eyes closed and the warmth of the sun caressing her skin Kiriko was in a prime position to hear the shouting that was occurring just outside of the Annex. She strained her ears and picked up a female's voice, but not one that she recognized as a member of her Division. The words were coarse but the mention of Kiriko's Captain was enough to vitalize her excitement. A friend of the Captain's? He seemed so focused on work she'd never even imagined that he had a strong social network. What kind of person was this? To peak the interest of her Captain? The voice was higher pitched, almost young, and Kiriko felt a moment of jealousy. Who was this girl to be her Captain's friend? And why hadn't she met her before? The Captain seemed so divorced from the rest of Seireitei, he never spoke to her about relationships outside of the Nibantai. Was he really living a life out there that she didn't even know about?

That knowledge was like a tiny shard of glass that burrowed under her skin. She had to know. Had to meet this person and see what they were made of. If they could claim the Captain as their friend... What was so different about them that Kiriko couldn't also do the same? She wanted to be close to her Captain, his right hand. And she was sometimes, when he gave her a task she knew that he trusted in her to get it done correctly. But Kiriko wanted more than just the responsibility and respect. She wanted him to talk to her, to speak about real things like his life and dreams. They hardly ever talked like that, mostly it was business. And Kiriko loved business, loved knowing that her Captain believed in her ability. But sometimes she felt a little stifled, as if that was all she was to him. A tool. Kiriko had her own heart and she wanted to be acknowledged as such. Emotions were dangerous and bad in her line of work, but it wasn't like she was irrational, right? All Kiriko wanted was companionship. To feel like her Captain relied on her as a person not just as a Lieutenant.

That drove her out the door quicker than anything else and Kiriko hurried to smooth her hair back in its bun as she raced towards the entrance. Slowing to a sedate pace so as to maintain appearances though she casually walked out the front door and looked around. The only person there was a young girl and Kiriko felt her face morph into a scowl. What did some little kid have that she didn't? Trying to control her reaction she was successful in that her face reverted back to a carefully blank mask though there was a hint of frostiness in her eyes as she walked forward, hands held open in greeting. “Good afternoon, I am Chinda Kiriko.” She wanted to say more, wanted to dig and probe until her questions were answered satisfactorily but Kiriko also had a visage to keep up and she wanted to remain in control of the situation. So she said little, forcing the visitor to take the slack and explain herself. Kiriko wouldn't lower herself down to the level of demanding information, of appearing to be desperate.

WC: 1103 | GP: 22 | Total GP: 22

Kiriko took her time studying the person who had called her out, her own curiosity getting the best of her. From the vocal and loud voice she had been expecting... a woman, or at least an adult. But the sight that caught her eyes now was nothing more than a girl, a tiny one at that! How old could this Shinigami be? She certainly looked like the smallest of children, not even in her teens. Appearance was usually not a good indicator of age, but at the same time there were general guidelines to the aging process of spirits. To look that young, it was certainly unusual and made Kiriko assume this girl was still a child.

Her eyes were piercing though, and it made Kiriko shiver internally as she met those ice blue eyes that seemed to stare right through her. The mannerisms and speech of a child were lacking in this girl and it was rather confusing to watch – the Shinigami fit no clear stereotype. Kiriko could not easily place her in a descriptive box like she could most other people, and that alone made her tentative. Kiriko was on unstable ground, the pulpy earth might slip and slide and swallow her whole if she wasn't careful just now...

If her Captain was this girl's friend then she had to be... Well, honestly Kiriko didn't know what she had to be. What did her Captain like? And what did he see in this tiny person that attracted his attention? It was perplexing, and Kiriko was determined to figure the mystery out. She was a good Lieutenant, but perhaps not the best when it came to knowing her Captain. She had to work on that, and this opportunity was like a flower blooming in front of her face. She just had to reach out and pluck it.

The little girl started speaking, her voice so adult and forthright that again it kept Kiriko on her toes unsure of what to expect here. She was so used to being the one in control that this meeting was starting off to a rather disturbing beginning. The girl, Kachekiwa-san, seemed to brush off Kiriko's demeanor and plunge right along into the meat of their conversation. Was it really alright to be so forward about her intentions? Did Kachekiwa mean to be this blunt? She was really shocked to find that this girl was a member of the Sixth, it just didn't seem to suit the feisty child, but what did Kiriko know about her? Maybe that contradiction was part of what Tsukimiya saw in her?

She felt her stomach flutter with nerves and Kiriko fought hard to disguise her unease. She was always such a coward! Shouldn't she be demanding some respectful tones out of this Shinigami? Or at least interrogating her? It was her right after all, as a Lieutenant she could easily have pulled rank and forced the girl to talk. Somehow she felt even more self-conscious with Kachekiwa's unnerving lack of formality than she did normally, and yet she couldn't muster up the courage to correct her. To strictly shut the girl down. Because... Because there was that invisible bond tying the younger girl to her Captain. Was it really just friendship? Maybe they were old comrades? Maybe they'd known each other for longer than Kiriko had known her Captain... What if this Kachekiwa girl was closer to Tsukimiya than Kiriko was? Was she being tested or something? Or maybe Kachekiwa was here to stake a claim?

Well damn! Kiriko had her own claim, she was the Lieutenant here! She wasn't going to let some random person, even if they did say they were close with her Captain, strut in here like this and make a fool out of Kiriko. She was strong, or at least she had to act that way. Or else who would be able to respect her!?! “If you're looking for information on my Captain, perhaps you should ask him yourself,” she spoke flatly, her displeasure apparent. Who was this girl to come to her for personal information on her Captain? Shouldn't the two of them be close enough to talk to each other without intervention if they were friends? What the hell! What was she, some kind of messenger pigeon? And besides all that, the idea had just suddenly occurred to her but maybe this was some big joke? Maybe the Sixth had decided to play a prank and had sent off their youngest member to try and do some intelligence gathering over at the Second. Did Kachekiwa even know her Captain? Or was it all a lie?

Frowning rather impressively, Kiriko looked down her full height at the girl who she was now beginning to think was just a troublemaker, “I'm afraid that I do not discuss private matters with anyone outside my Division.” That should shut her off, and probably send the kid scurrying. Was she so new that she didn't realize what kind of trouble she could get into for messing around with a Lieutenant? Had someone played a hazing prank on the poor girl or something? 

WC: 856 | GP: 17 | Total GP: 39

OOC - Sorry for the bad post. I wasn't really sure how to respond to yours so I just kind of went with this idea.

Kiriko began to grow offended. Previously she was still sussing the situation out, but the moment the young girl started to repeat her statement and furthermore stating the very obvious fact that Tsukimiya didn't talk about private things she started to get annoyed. Well duh! If he didn't talk about them, why did this silly girl think she would be able to get Kiriko to start spouting secrets? Wasn't that sort of a direct clue right there? If her Captain wanted people knowing things about him he would have told them, you didn't go digging behind someone's back for information like this! It was... well, it was unsightly. And rude. And not a very good show of faith if this supposed friendship was even true. What made Kachekiwa think that Kiriko was going to betray her loyalty to her Captain and throw out stories like a drunk relative at a dinner party?

Raising her eyebrows in a look of disbelief, Kiriko ignored the petulant remarks about her stance. She wasn't trying to be intimidating, she didn't need to intimidate people. If Kiriko wanted to scare the girl she would have gone about it in an entirely different manner. But that seemed lost on the tiny child, and so she decided to just ignore that oblivious nature for the moment and address the real issue, “Exactly. He doesn't talk about those things, so why should you expect me to tell you things he doesn't want you to know?”

Kiriko didn't have to wait long before Kachekiwa seemed to forge onward, her straightforward words simultaneously a smack in the face along with being brutally open. Kiriko wasn't sure if she should be offended at the impudence or appreciate the fact that the girl at least wasn't trying to make elaborate stories up. Maybe not the best reconnaissance technique, but certainly a surprising one. If she'd picked a fresher target the girl might have even gotten some intelligence out of this little foray.

And then the girl blurted out the most shocking sentence. She was here to meet Kiriko. For a second the Lieutenant felt a momentary surge of power, she was in the authority position because Kachekiwa had come to her and not the other way around. That soon faded though as she began to assess the situation. There was no point in saying that unless it was true. It should have been pretty obvious at this stage that flattery wouldn't have worked as a tool for information gathering so Kiriko had to assume the little Shinigami wasn't just fishing around for an opening. That was strange though... Why would Kiriko matter to one of her Captain's friends?

Unless... Unless he had talked about her to Kachekiwa. The thought made her feel like she had swallowed carbonated water, like butterflies were dancing in her stomach. She worked hard, and she was a good Lieutenant, so Tsukimiya should talk about her. Right? Right? It was well deserved if he had. And who was to say he didn't brag about her all the time? I mean, it wasn't like the other Captains really had much to write home about. Feeling the flush of pride, Kiriko was moved enough to feel her hostility lessen towards Kachekiwa. If the girl was just here to meet Kiriko because of her relationship to her Captain, well... That was almost a complement, wasn't it?

A sudden burst of laughter bubbled forth from within her chest, and Kiriko looked down at the girl with great mirth, “Glare? If I was glaring at you you would know it, trust me,” she exhaled softly, shaking her head a bit at the nonsensical rhetoric the little one was throwing about. She was certainly brave, Kiriko would give her that. She was beginning to see some of the interesting traits that might have caught her Captain's eye in this one. Though the humor of the situation wasn't lost on her. Kiriko was rather famous for her glare, she'd perfected it even into something of a combat move to strike fear into her enemy's hearts. It validated all that effort to see that her normal stern expression was taken so seriously by people. Really, everyone else should just learn that all that smiling was simply unprofessional and get over it – then she wouldn't be the weird one.

“Kachekiwa-san, was it? Fine, you want to talk, I would like to talk with you. I will not discuss my Captain's private matters with you though, I don't care what you say. That is not a betrayal that I condone.” She spoke quietly, though the words were sharp and to the point. Kiriko was rather blunt herself at times, it came from giving orders so often. She fully expected this claim to be respected now that she had made it clear where her boundaries were. The illusion of power at her rank was enough that Kiriko had become accustom to being listened to, and right now she was not expecting any sort of insubordination from the younger girl.

“Perhaps you will be more comfortable inside, at the very least you won't be able to call me stingy if you come into my office and accept some tea,” Kiriko spoke with a straight face, but inside she was smirking at the thinly veiled joke. Kachekiwa was certainly forward, she wondered if the girl would catch Kiriko's recognition of such an unusual trait.

WC: 903 | GP: 18 | Total GP: 57

The little girl seemed ready to burst, perhaps Kiriko's chosen method of consequence was not all that fitting in this kind of situation? It wasn't like knowing that could really help though, because as much as Kiriko has made a conscious decision to try and be more friendly to people she was still a Lieutenant and out in the open that sort of rank prescribed certain formalities and protocols that had to be followed. What did Kachekiwa expect honestly? That Kiriko would start chatting like they were old friends just because of the girl's relationship with her Captain? That was simply inappropriate and unprofessional. And Kiriko refused to have such words attached to her name.

It was in some ways amusing to see the brusque girl squirm, to see her try and hold back that temper in order to achieve something more important. It was gratifying to realize that Kachekiwa cared enough about this exchange to do so, a fact which was not lost on Kiriko as the younger Shinigami continued to speak, her face turning this way and that. It had to be hard, to be so proud and yet finding a way to humble oneself for the sake of someone else. Was Kachekiwa really that interested in Tsukimiya? Kiriko hoped so, because it would be a mark of strong friendship if it were true. And she desperately wanted her Captain to have good friends, people whom he could talk to and relax with.

The power-games were rather trite now and so with all her new conclusions Kiriko decided she needed to make another conscious decision – this one perhaps a bit more concrete than the last. By now she had to admit that Kachekiwa couldn't be acting, she was sincere in her relationship with Kiriko's Captain. That alone meant that Kiriko would benefit from getting to know the girl, from gaining familiarity and even camaraderie. She hated to compromise her own etiquette but as she was slowly learning from Tsukimiya there were times when you needed to take a hit in order to receive something far greater in return. Fine... She would try to be nice to this girl, for the sake of her Captain, and also for herself.

“I laughed because what you said was amusing, I suppose I'm rather well known for having a “fierce” face. My apologies if you thought I was being aggressive because that was not my intention,” Kiriko started off without inflection but the personal admission soon caught up to her and she ended with a wry smile before inclining her head in a gesture of regret.

Looking back over her shoulder, Kiriko was very very glad that she had trained the eavesdropping urge out of her subordinates. At the minimum they no longer loitered in public when trying to overhear conversations, they had been forced to cultivate much more subtle skills for snooping. All of that meant that the road was clear at her back, and there was no obvious sign of anyone following them as Kiriko turned and began to direct Kachekiwa towards the Annex and her office. The path was short, Kachekiwa had been almost directly outside the main building when she had started to yell for Kiriko, and so they arrived at the door in under a minute.

Staring up at the Annex as if it was the first time she had seen it, Kiriko took in the Japanese rooftop curling outward at the corners and the ancient architecture and whitewashed walls. Pushing aside the sliding door, she slid her shoes off and entered into the front room. Though the Annex was her personal home, it doubled as the command center and it was not strange to have people coming and going at all times of the night. Even so Kiriko felt a sudden unease, as if she was embarrassed to be showing her living quarters to Kachekiwa.

Luckily her Captain was still out, and so Kiriko headed straight for the open kitchen that was still freshly stocked with all of his culinary tools and ingredients. She didn't know when he would be back, and because of that Kiriko made it her mission to keep everything just as he had left it even if that meant replacing things like milk or eggs. The side of the kitchen opened up onto the polished engawa and Kiriko pointed in that direction as she spoke, “The garden is beautiful this time of the year. If you wait one second I will grab us some bread for the koi fish, they enjoy being fed.”

Someone had left the tea kettle sitting on the stove, the water still warm from her last batch of tea. Bustling around the orderly kitchen it was easy to make tea, almost soothing in its mechanical repetition. Soon she had a freshly brewed pot and a plate with bread slices arranged in a circle, taking those in hand she led Kachekiwa out onto the engawa where a table and set of chairs lurked. “Please, sit down,” she gestured again towards the nearest chair before setting everything atop the table. The breeze rustled by, a few blossoms from the nearest tree whirling around their place settings and landing on the plate. Inhaling, Kiriko breathed in deep the scent of new buds and fresh growth. There was something rather magical about this garden, and showing it to Kachekiwa was a way of telling the girl all that Kiriko knew about Tsukimiya. After all, he had had it created and cultivated to his tastes. This was his special place.

Sitting neatly across from the tiny Shinigami Kiriko began to pour the tea. She was no noble well versed in Chado but the serving of tea was formulaic even in its simplest articulation. Pushing the cup and saucer across the table towards the other girl, Kiriko resumed pouring her own tea before setting the teapot down in the middle. Steepling her fingers, she looked directly at Kachekiwa before addressing her, “So, we both have questions for each other I would assume. Please speak your piece, you may ask me anything although I will not promise to answer, though perhaps we can agree to be silent rather than lie if need be.” Having come out in an extremely blunt manner she felt as if the other girl was rubbing off on her in some way.

WC: 1061 | GP: 21 | GP Total: 78

Kiriko glanced to her left, eyes falling upon the trundle nestled against one of the roof posts. The soil looked too light, as if it was in need of some gentle watering, but the plants inside were all brilliantly growing as far as she could tell. Kiriko had never had a green thumb but living with Tsukimiya had forced her to acclimate to the needs of a garden, and that included the special desires of the little herb garden that had been planted in the trundle. The basil in particular was upright and perky, and Kiriko eyed it thoughtfully. She would have to pick it soon, before it overcrowded itself and caused decay. Adding that activity onto her mental list of things to do before her Captain got back, Kiriko turned as Kachekiwa began to respond to her forward request.

Kiriko curled her fingers around the ceramic teacup, the heat from the water leeching into her fingers in a comforting way. There was just something about sitting out here with tea, the memories of her time in the Second seemed so very centered around this garden and the serving of tea. Nostalgia filled her with a misty feeling and Kiriko glanced down into her teacup, watching the ripples caused by the brief stirring of wind as she contemplated an answer for the younger girl in front of her.

“Anything I want to tell you first?” she mused, feet tucked under her chair as she leaned forward slightly. This was the difficult part when it came to all these new decisions. It was easy to tell herself she was going to make a concerted effort to be nice, it was not so easy to actually know how to do that. This was the point when you got into specifics right? Into personal details? Kiriko didn't function with those things in mind. She was professional, she was efficient, she was not a gossip or a... a... talker. But damn it if she didn't wish she had some of the social skills of her peers right now.

What did people talk about normally? The weather? Inter-politics of Soul Society? Their last Hollow hunt? What? All of those things were no-go zones for Kiriko. What did she have to say about cloud formations or rain? And mentioning politics now was tantamount to threading on very dangerous waters what with Gilgamesh watching everything. Besides which, Kiriko's missions were all classified nowadays. With no past history the only common thread between the two girls was Tsukimiya, but that was something Kiriko was not willing to talk about.

Maybe that needed to be reinforced. As a prequel to their conversation. “I am very pleased that you have come to speak with me Kachekiwa-san, indeed I even think that we could become friends if that is what you wish, but I am going to draw a line right now just to be abundantly clear,” Kiriko spoke hesitantly at first before warming up to the subject. A heavy frown marred her features as she leaned forward even further, her eyes direct and unyielding, “You will not get between myself and my Captain. I am and will always be Tsukimiya-taicho's Lieutenant before I am your friend. If you can accept that, then I think we will get along fine.”

With her words said, Kiriko leaned back in her chair and waited. It might have been impolite, those impassioned words of hers, but they were a truth that had to be recognized before this little relationship went any further. Kiriko would not be forsworn, and she did not want to lie about her priorities either. Kachekiwa seemed to care a lot about friendship, and that was fine, but Kiriko wanted the other girl to understand that she did not feel the same way. A friend was fine, great even, someone to rely on and to relax with. But to Kiriko her duty to her Captain came before all else. The man who had given her rank, who had given her purpose, a home, training, strength, a family, he was far more important than any friend she could make and Kiriko wanted that well known so as to head off any potential problems down the line.

WC: 704 | GP: 14 | Total GP: 92

OOC - No! I like your posts, I just ramble too much. XP

Kiriko frowned, realizing inadvertently that her passion had gotten the best of her. It had been so very difficult to build herself up from a lowly child into a capable and efficient Shinigami, so hard to cut away useless emotions and let logic reign supreme, but in this moment she was beginning to realize that she had cut away more than the harmful parts of feelings. She had also excised those things needed for social situations and had thus just gone forward in, what was that saying? Putting her foot in her mouth? Such a strange way of putting it, but in all honesty Kiriko felt a little twinge of regret, sitting there in the sunlight that seemed to be enhancing all of her flaws. This was why it was easier to stay in her office, easier to be a Lieutenant rather than a person. But she wanted to try, she had to try. If Tsukimiya was important to her then so was this young girl. And Kiriko wanted to turn the page in her life. She wanted to feel connected rather than distant, close rather than apart. This was only the first step in an arduous journey to recreate herself once again.

Kiriko refused to remold her personality in such a sharp contrast as had happened when she was younger – she rather liked most parts of her professional build. The ease with which she took command, the purposefulness, the strength. Even if it was all a facade it was important to her and she wouldn't compromise those things, even for friendship. But there had to be some give and take, and Kiriko realized that in private she needed to be able to let her guard down slightly. To make mistakes without the sky shattering. Without her image shattering. Inhaling sharply, she twisted her fingers tightly beneath the table, the wrenching pain of pinched skin and nerves serving to steel her mind for the task ahead.

Apologize? That wouldn't mean much since there would be no context to the apology. And besides, apologies were so insipid. More tactical to explain, even if the explanation left her open to harm later on down the road. Wasn't this what this whole affair was about? Creating tiny cracks in your barriers through which to connect with others? It would be painful, she didn't fool herself from believing that, but maybe the end result was too important not to take that risk.

She started haltingly but infuriated with her own weakness just plunged ahead in order to get this over with, “That is not what I meant. I... I'm not terribly good at this, the talking and the friendship. This is the first time I have tried so there are bound to be mistakes made,” she finished softly, and then winced again when going over those sentences. So defensive! And yet so arrogant at the same time. That wasn't really an admission of weakness at all, it was more of a brave stand. Damnit, time to try again.“You can probably tell already, I might need your help with all of this... Thank you,” the last bit was like pulling teeth, but she managed to say it sincerely enough because she really was rather thankful that Kachekiwa was trying to do this. They both had their own reasons, but in the end Kiriko would benefit rather handsomely.

Sighing internally, Kiriko let her rigid muscles relax a hair. This was more work than anything she had ever done before! Who would have known? She had always seen those personable people out there talking and laughing with their friends and assumed they were wasting time that they should have spent doing something more useful like training or working. But now Kiriko had to reevaluate her assumptions because this was not so easy after all! In fact, it might even be a harder task to set for herself than her goal of perfecting her body as a weapon. That was a frightening thought!

Reeling slightly from such an idea, Kiriko tilted her head to the side as she watched Kachekiwa. The first question was so very personal, her immediate reaction was to shut it down. But wasn't that what she had been doing all along to Kachekiwa? Shutting down her attempts at reaching out? And maybe it wasn't so personal after all. She was oversensitive to these things, and she had a professional life that she could talk about just as easily as her inner feelings. Except that wouldn't be what she was trying to do here, now would it? Angry with herself for setting such horrible goals, Kiriko leaned back in her chair and sipped at her tea for a moment as she collected her thoughts. How best to say this? “It is a wonderful thing, of course, to be with my Captain. I am sure you feel the same way, the reassurance and the strength that flows off of him. He is the best Captain to serve. I only wish he was around more often, Gilgamesh relies on him quite a lot and even without this whole war he would still be busy.” Her voice grew warm for the first time, speaking about the man who she had dedicated her new life to. Realizing that she was staring off into the distance, picturing their last interactions, Kiriko refocused on the blond Shinigami.

“The Academy? That was a long time ago it seems... It was a difficult time. I did not come from Shinigami stock, and the transition was hard. But the resources that were suddenly available, the training, the food, the security, all of those things made up for any difficulties I had. I imagine my time was much the same as yours, the curriculum is quite prescribed after all,” Kiriko paused, and discerned the fact that she had to be honest with herself here as well as Kachekiwa, “Though I think I can extrapolate and say that you enjoyed your time there more than I did. I did not make many friends or even acquaintances, I was too driven towards my goal.” And what a goal! She hadn't thought about that in a long time, the reason why she had left her family and come to Seireitei. The man she had hunted, so shallowly desiring her Father's pride that she would chase after another recipient of his hatred on her own twisted quest. Maybe it was better that she'd never ended up finding Shinji, maybe it was better that she had taken such a liking to like here, amongst the accomplishment and the capital. She hadn't accomplished that early goal, one of her only failings in life, but she had accomplished something far more important. Making a name for herself, and a home.   

WC: 1128 | GP: 22 | Total GP: 114

 Her blood froze when the other girl started to laugh, that tinkling noise coming from her throat like tiny shards of glass piercing Kiriko's body. She was laughing? She was laughing at Kiriko's personal admission of weakness? The anger that swamped her was so all encompassing that she forgot to breath, her heart stuttering to a halt as she sat there in total rage. Kiriko finally opened up, finally made a huge leap and took a giant risk and what did she get in return? Laughter! Mockery! Disdain! How could she had misjudged Kachekiwa so entirely? This was it! An error in calculation, she had made a mistake and it was stupid of her to even try to do something like this. What did Kiriko need friends for? They were useless, just extraneous weaknesses attached to your mind! She didn't need anyone, she was perfectly fine all on her own.

Internally fuming, Kiriko's mental dialogue raced rapid-paced towards explosion, but she was forced into a startling halt as Kachekiwa smiled in a friendly manner and proceeded to relate. To talk about similarities, about shared experiences, about the same experience. That... That was not what Kiriko had been expecting here. What about that laugh? Short though it may have been, Kachekiwa was still laughing at her, right? Pausing she rewound the last few seconds, calling up the image of the younger Shinigami's face several frames back. There had been no malice in that expression, more like a startled sort of empathy...

Well damn.

She was an ass.

Kiriko was glad that she hadn't given any indication of her anger, because she was feeling mighty stupid now as Kachekiwa went on to talk about her own experiences with loneliness and her struggles to make friends. It wasn't just the other girl reaching out, it was a total envelopment of shared emotions. Kachekiwa wasn't guarding herself against the pain of rejection, she was being honest and letting Kiriko in on dark painful secrets. The shame she felt when looking back on her wrath mere seconds ago was crippling. Kiriko had never really felt ashamed for her personality before, for her anger or her cutting tongue – she had always thought those were good things, part of what made her stand up when she was afraid and react so quickly to danger. To protect herself. It was startling, and painful, to realize that she did have things to be ashamed of that might just be more valid than her perceived weaknesses and cowardice. Was she a bad person?

Kiriko couldn't think about this. Couldn't dwell on such a searing issue while facing the other girl. So she latched onto the only life raft available, conversation. Despite her internal struggle Kiriko had been paying attention to Kachekiwa's words and she noticed a discrepancy in them, a tiny note of unease that she had been trained so heavily to pick up on. The other girl talked about coming back. To Seireitei? What did that mean? Shinigami didn't leave Soul Society. Certainly not loyal ones at least. She couldn't let that tidbit of information lay unearthed, so she pounced, articulate mind already racing ahead to try and predict and assess what had happened here.

“It's hard isn't it? I'm glad that we share this in common, but what about before you left? Was it hard for you even then to make friends?” she spoke so calmly that one might not even notice the subtlety of her words. Slipping in a reference to leaving was the save as Kachekiwa accidentally mentioning her return. If she made no deal about it the other girl might inadvertently keep talking without even realizing what was being discussed. This was a secret if Kiriko had ever stumbled upon one, and she was not going to let it escape her by being ham handed and demanding information.

Just keep talking. As if everything is normal. And pour on the familiarity, to keep things smooth. It was a standard interrogation tactic and Kiriko didn't even comprehend that there might be anything wrong with her using it on the other Shinigami. She quirked an eyebrow in response to Kachekiwa's final question, part of her tickled by the innocent jealousy on the other girl's face. At least it wasn't just Kiriko who was jealous about the other girl's relationship with Kyousuke. “Does he ever cook for me?” she asked with friendly incredibility, “It's not like he would ever allow me to cook so I'd have to say that yes, he does.” She smiled with great humor, just imagining what would happen if she told her Captain that she wanted to be the one to cook. Eyes settling back on Kachekiwa she gave a real smile, personable and honest, “He is the best cook in all of Soul Society.”

WC: 801 | GP: 16 | Total GP: 130

Kiriko felt an inner leap of satisfaction as Kachekiwa kept talking as if nothing abnormal was being discussed. That was good, because it allowed Kiriko to confirm that for some reason the other girl had left Seireitei. It could have been a legitimate event, but Kiriko had never heard of any such case before and it was hard to imagine one. Despite the fact that she was nearly certain Kachekiwa had gone rogue at some point in time Kiriko was more curious than anything else. She had to uphold certain laws of the Gotei, and that often meant hunting down rogues. But it had never been anything personal. Far from it, she didn't care if someone had a fit with the hierarchy and ran off. All that mattered was completing her objectives, and since she wasn't being sent after Kachekiwa then the whole history aspect was trivial. It was just something she couldn't turn off, her desire to constantly be informed. To have the upper hand over someone, even if that was created through blackmail. Kiriko would do anything for her Captain, for her Division, and that meant always looking for those openings in other people. She had to be prepared. Had to be ready. For the time when she would need this information.

Letting the topic slide away in the flow of conversation Kiriko knew she could return to it easily if she wanted to, but to bring it up again right now would only throw the game. So she turned her attention to other subjects, watching with some inner glee as Kachekiwa actively got... flustered? Yes, that was the word. She was clearly envious of Kiriko's relationship with her Captain, and it gave Kiriko a rush of power to realize that she had something to be jealous over. It didn't matter if the truth was that they weren't terribly close when it came to personal details like Tsukimiya seemed to be with Kachekiwa because it was all about the illusion of things. Everything in her life was that way. Kiriko was nothing like what she appeared to be, and it was all okay because so long as people thought she was a certain way than it was the truth. That was how Kiriko recreated her own truths.

Her petty elation soon drooped though as Kachekiwa nearly slipped and said something more than she had been intending. I'm his what? What was Kachekiwa to Kyousuke? Were they more than just friends? Friends had been bad enough, but what if she was... his lover? That was clearly the only thing she could be talking about. It didn't soothe her racing heart any to think that at least her Captain didn't cook for Kachekiwa, though she tried to console herself with that fact. Damn it... What else was out there that she didn't know about her Captain? Was she really such a bad Lieutenant that he wouldn't even trust her with his personal relationships? Didn't he know that she would protect the people that were close to him? She could be useful too, but not if she could never convince him to even tell her the simplest things about himself!

It was jarring but Kiriko realized that there was more to her not wanting to talk about her Captain's personal life than just privacy. She didn't know anything. That was the honest truth. Even if she had wanted to tell Kachekiwa stories there was nothing to tell because Kiriko didn't actually know any. She could count on both hands the personal facts that Tsukimiya had told her about himself, the admissions. Were they really that distant? After all of this time? How had she never noticed it?

Her thoughts were already on a dark spiral and when Kachekiwa asked about her family Kiriko only frowned deeply. Impossible to ignore now that she was already left wondering about what was wrong with herself that she wasn't closer with her Captain, she had to extrapolate that oh so common root of the problem. Her damn family. If only she could erase them from her life and recreate fake representations, it would be so much better. Just as she had recreated herself in Seireitei she should be able to rewrite history, right? It just... It just hurt to cut it all off. All of Kiriko's efforts to make her Father happy, to forget all the bad things and grow up, all of them would be erased as well. Her Big Sister... Even her Mother and the million siblings. It wasn't like she even knew how they were doing now, but the mental connection was still there. Kiriko wasn't strong enough to purge herself of it, the bad along with the good.

Feeling melancholic, she sipped at her tea again, sliding the cup and saucer closer to the center of the table. “I was born into Rukongai. I don't even know if I've been a human before... I've only got this life's worth of experience and I certainly didn't learn anything useful in Rukongai. All my Father could teach me was how to -” Kiriko stopped herself abruptly, shaking her head in anger as she cut herself off, “Look, all I meant by that was that I have to work hard to be a good Shinigami because these things don't come naturally to me.” She glanced up, eyes boring into Kachekiwa as her mouth moved again in an unconscious desire to change the subject off of her, “What about you? How old are you anyway?”

WC: 920 | GP: 18 | Total GP: 148

Kiriko frowned in irritation as Kachekiwa questioned her intelligence quite bluntly. She took a moment of silence, breathing in through her nose and expelling the anger with her exhalation. Her fingers, sitting neatly in her lap, tensed very faintly, the nails scratching softly against the inside of her palms. She was not going to be angry with this girl. She was not. Each time it proved to be an over reaction, and Kiriko hated to make a fool out of herself. Breathing in again once more, she looked out towards the garden, every shift smooth and controlled. Despite her amazingly short fuse Kiriko had long ago learned how to disguise her true emotions. It was all part of the act she engaged in on a daily basis. Her real feelings were never what anyone else saw, because inside Kiriko was nothing to write home about. That was why this whole conversation and friendship thing was so very difficult. She had to allow herself to show glimpses of the truth, glimpses of potential weaknesses that could be used against her if this all went wrong.

“I wasn't talking about the basics. All souls go through cycles of life. When a spirit in Soul Society dies it becomes a human and when a human dies it can go on to Soul Society. You know this already of course, but I was referencing that cycle. Before my soul became conjoined here and was born into Rukongai there were past lives like any other soul in the cycle. There is simply less of a connection to those past lives because of my birth,” she was eager already to be done with this conversation, so Kiriko set the topic aside with her tone of voice, making it clear that she was unhappy discussing this subject. There wasn't necessarily information on how souls were born into Rukongai, maybe there was even a prevalence of thoughts that they were simply created anew. But to Kiriko that made little sense. The world was far too insular, you couldn't just be adding to the population without a tip in the greater balance of existence. Everything was a circle of creation and decay, all of the souls had to come from somewhere and were constantly being recycled into new people.

The disconnect she felt though when people recalled vague recollections of some far off history on earth, or when the air that those ancient souls just emanated all on their own washed over her, it was just so annoying. She had nothing but this life, not even the reassurance that there had been anything before or would be anything ahead. It made her feel brief and insignificant. A minor blip on a screen that housed millions of supernovas each second. Kiriko held no esteem for the noble houses of the Shinigami, but they at least had something to claim as their history. As their legacy. Even the most insignificant noble was connected to a larger picture. Kiriko though, who knew? She was too young yet to have left a mark anywhere on this world.

It was surprising to say the least to hear of the other girl's age. Kiriko realized that she had mentally been referring to her as younger but now had to recalculate that term. A disease that affected even the soul itself? That sounded far-fetched, but maybe it was some spiritual affliction. Kiriko didn't really understand the whole process, she'd never been interested in it because it hadn't applied to her. Now though she felt a momentary flicker of curiosity and decided she would look into it. She felt a bitterness surge again as Kachekiwa talked about Kiriko's better situation. The girl knew nothing about Kiriko's life. She'd spent time in the 80^th District as well, the nomadic group never really made it further than the 75^th due to their incredibly sparse resources. And in her opinion having people could be way worse than being on your own. At least when you were by yourself there was no one there to hurt you who you could never escape. There was always the chance to run and leave it all behind.

But at the same time Kiriko realized that her bitterness was that competitive feeling that arose when you wanted to win a pity game, and Kiriko hated games. She decided to let the whole thing slide without even talking about it. Kiriko was a different person now, totally unconnected to that past life. What did it matter who had things worse? She would only be petty to start in on that kind of competition. Tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear, she watched as a bumblebee lazily looped towards the bowl of fresh cut flowers on the table. “I didn't realize you were so old. You must have been around in Seireitei for a long time then. Maybe it is you who should be telling the stories.” She genuinely was interested. What were things like before this big huge mess? Had Kachekiwa known Kyousuke before he became a Captain? Before even his imprisonment in the Nest? Did she know what he'd been put there? What about other people? Gossip was all well and good but sometimes hearing from someone who'd lived through the events of the past was so much more fulfilling. “I bet you know a lot of things about all of the other Captains. Were you around before they became what they are today?”

WC: 911 | GP: 18 | Total GP: 148