Vent Thread [Warning: Contains Swearing]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
What the fuck did I do!? I'm a total fucking moron. Here I am upset and crying. I don't know what to do but it hurts. I'm stupid. I'm never logical its not in my nature. I try to be nice, but I push back and I guess some people can't take it and look for an escape. I hate myself so much. I don't know what to do. I've been writing poems but my nerves have been going up a notch with every passing second. I think if I could have a heart attack at this young I'd be having one.
Son of a -
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
;w;

*Takes a deep breath and walks away.*

Five years of my life out the fucking window! Five bloody damn years! How could I be damn stupid? So childish? How could I treat her like that? Why the fuck did I talk to her while drinking? Especially after last time?! What the hell was wrong with me?! She was my best fucking friend! Hell she was more than that to me, she was the only god damned constant I had in my life! Every day I could count on her to cheer me up, every day she'd greet me and we'd stay up all night talking and having fun. Not any more though, not any more because I just had to be a god damn moronic bitch! I lost her. I fucking lost her.

I'm sorry. I know you'll never see this but god dammit I'm sorry. I can't even begin to explain how much I hurt. I miss you, I really do, and if I indeed did push you away for good... I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it without you. The one good thing that's ever happened in my life was meeting you. You made each and every day worth waking up for. I'm sorry for being a bitch, I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm so damn sorry!

If there ever was I time where I honestly can that I loathe myself, its now. Sunday shouldn't of happened... especially after Saturday which was one of our best days together in memory. I'm so bloody sorry. God... I'm sorry.

*sigh* That was what's on my chest right now. No matter how much I vent it still hurts. v_v

i don't want to share my vents here.
because you would all call me a retard and scoff at me because im too "young" to think about that.

This is like writing a letter and not sending it, except others can see it. If anyone else acts in such a manner to insult you about what you post here (they really shouldn't purposely try to hurt your feelings anyways) then they will be warned, and if they continue I will take serious action. Now Jake, go ahead and vent, people need it sometimes, it's a form of therapy. It's safe here, and if you don't wish for people to try to help, just say so.

this vent was stupid and never happened.

I should hate you more than anything for what you did to her.
And it's true I dream of killing you by inches.

But why can't I feel any real rage, when what you did was monstrous?
Why can't I despise you?

I fucking hate this piece of shit keyboard. Grr.

That's about all I got.

stu·pid·i·ty:
n. pl. stu·pid·i·ties
1. The quality or condition of being stupid.
2. A stupid act, remark, or idea.

stu·pid:
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake.
4. Dazed, stunned, or stupefied.
5. Pointless; worthless: a stupid job.

n.

A stupid or foolish person

[Latin: stupidus, from stupre, to be stunned.]

Okay I wanted to define this word before I proceed with my vent. That way when you read the word stupid or any words deriving from the said word; you will immediately think of the definition.

So I am here at work; it is 0731 -7UCT, and I was approached by one of my infamously stupid interns. This said intern had heard about a recent mistake I made, yes it was pretty bad and I had to spend pretty much all weekend fixing it, and made an ignorantly stupid remark. Said intern said, "I can't believe you made such a stupid mistake... If I was in your position I would have made sure that I was working on the right job." Now granted this intern said it with a laughing tone, but he said this in front of my father and the owner. Now it was obvious that this stupid intern was trying to make me look like an enormous fuck up. (I might add my Father laughed so hard at my mistake he almost fell out of his seat when he called me and told me of the mistake. Sure it was one of those mistakes that if finished it would be paramount to the end of the world bad, but he caught it and took the chance to belittle me... Yes my Father did it out of love so no problems there.)

Now in the process of saying all this stuff the intern proceeded to pull out some of my work and attempt to critique me on how to "More effectively do my job." Well as I sat there staring blankly at his stupidity I found myself asking the question. "Who the fuck tells their boss how to do their job? Especially when they are still in school to do what I do?" Finally my wonderful Father steps to the plate, noticing my sudden lack of ability to form intelligent thought, (The intern was like a brain sucking demon spawn of hell... I couldn't even think of how to respond to his stupidity.) and said to the intern these exact words. "<insert employee's name>... Are you saying that Wayne is doing this work wrong and you can do it better? I am sorry, but from the advice you had just given Wayne, I am surprised you have even managed to pull a passing grade in your schooling. If I was to put a dollar amount on how much I value you versus Wayne it would be something like this." My father pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it my name and the interns name. Under my name he put my salary then under his name he wrote, "Go back to school and learn before you speak or you will end up looking more stupid than what you all ready are."

I really appreciate what my Father did for me, but I sit here wondering how someone can truly exhibit so much stupidity and still think they are looking smart. I am old enough and experienced enough in life to know when someone is feeding me a basket of shit... Makes me want to modify this time old expression: "You know that saying, 'You are what you eat?' Well can you tell me what stupid tastes like?"

Chapter 1: Stupid Interns...
ended.

*Sigh*.... Fuck you cancer.... Making me sick all the time. Dang hospital visits, stupid doctors making mistakes. Injections, inspections, detections... I apologize for the "F" word. It's not like me...

...
...

I feel better now

Oh, I am a fan of Bob and Tom and when I'm pissed these songs always make me laugh and I hope they help you!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSGSQbuWfko

Woah, I'm glad I don't have your problems, guys... The only thing I'm suffering from right now is a chronic lack of inspiration... I guess all I can do is wish you good luck in the struggle against whatever inner demons you are facing. Stay strong.

Before I begin my Rant/Vent, I just wanna say this: I fucking HATE Rehab Camp, and this has absolutely NOTHING to do ANYONE on here. At all.

_______________________
Have you ever had one of those days? You know, when you just feel like laying in your own fucking bed and relaxing instead of getting the fuck up and dealing with everyone else fucking emotional bullshit? Well, that is my life. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Why can't you people deal with your own fucking problems! I'm not your therapist, I'm not your friend, fuck, I'm not even sure if I fucking KNOW you. I don't fucking care if your best friend has abandoned you (Hint Hint:YOU'RE A BITCH! I'm surprised you even HAVE friends!), and I don't give two shits if your family thinks your an insane fucking crack addict (They're right by the way). Okay? Do you get it now? Or do I have drill this even FARTHER into that dense fucking head of yours? Leave me alone, because I don't GIVE A FUCK! You can go rot in a fucking ditch for I care, you sick, depraved pieces of SHIT!

Oh, and the next person that tries to drag me off to fucking "Rehab Camp" is gonna get their fucking eyes gouged out with a fucking pen. I am NOT shitting you. I fucking HATE that place,and they fucking hate me.
__________________________________
Rant/Vent over.
Well, I feel better.

I hate everything.

This is not about anyone here, it is solely a personal matter.
Consider this a shallow apology to the deli manager, though she'll never see it.
The anger is out, so now this doesn't need to exist anymore. kthnxbai.

I'm not a mean guy... /sunglasses

I'm confused. My mother woke me up this morning, I assumed it was because I have my surgery thing today but no. She woke me up to tell me about the talk she had with my friends dad. She out right said she couldn't believe this man was saying such things to her. Saying that I was a manipulative bitch, guilt tripping my friend into coming. (I did not, I just asked for the same respect his father gets from him, and he denied that, said I was insulting.) This man goes on to say that I've caused nothing but issues for his child and him when I've barely even talked about his father and in fact encouraged my friend to spend time with him.
Yet I get painted as the bad guy, that I'm the manipulative bitch who needs to get the fuck away from their son. The man doesn't even know me and I don't know what my friend is saying but I'm upset right now. I don't even want to confront my friend about what he's been saying because I thought every thing between us was personal. I guess not though. I've never once went into detail about my friend to my parents because I respected our understanding. But I guess he didn't.
My friend is supposed to visit me tomorrow, but my mom said don't count on it because his father as full intentions of not letting him out. Keeping him locked up away from me. I don't know what I've done wrong but its not like my friend would even answer this. So here I am sitting up; wondering why my friend would say he'd visit no matter what and then turn around and say he can't because he doesn't want to upset his dad.
I guess his promise to me wasn't valid? I don't know how people can get off promising something and then doing this. I'm really upset at the moment.
If my friend can't tell his dad he wants to take this trip for himself then his dad wins. Honestly this isn't a fight I'm going to win. In his eyes his father is the only person he really loves. I understand parental bonds but his is up and above that. Its frustrating to say the least. He's only concerned about how his dad feels on the matter. I ask him to consider my feelings and I get told off for it. Then his father says such rude things to my mom.
I'm upset, I don't know what to do. Why can't my friend just stand up for something for once? He's always passive letting his father win everything. Yet I cause problems for them?
It sickens me. Its like a master and his dog. I'm not playing second fiddle to anyone, I've tried that before and its only gotten me hurt. So no more. I guess if my friend doesn't show up tomorrow then he's been lying about his promise to me. Something that really hurts my feelings.

I apologize to his dad who thinks so low of me. How can someone who does not know me even judge me? That's judgmental and rude. I've never once judged his father or the likes.
And I apologize to my friend who I will be breaking ties off with. If I've done nothing but cause problems he should've said that. I wish that you had maybe thought about someone else beyond your dad. I know you love him, and you'll think I'm a rude bitch for saying this stuff. I know. Do I care? Not particularly. I wish that you would've been the one to tell me you didn't care, but in the end your actions said that for you. As they say actions speak louder than words. So I'm sorry, but goodbye. I can't play this game anymore its only stressing me out and making me a crying mess. I need to go on with my life and I'm sorry you don't want to be in it.

And I'm sorry to anyone on this site that reads this. I just needed to vent...

Wow Riko... I don't even know what to say...
I guess it might be comforting for me to say that I know how you feel to a lesser extent? I'm not going to try and compare whatever it is I think might be on a similar level to yours, because in the end I know it would be bologna. I'm really sorry, and I know it must suck... :/ Nothing i'm saying right now is comforting at all, but I want you to know that touched me. That really made me sad... I don't understand how someone could do that :[ Im sorry, Riko... I hope things get better for you :/

There isn't much anyone can say on the issue without seeming like they're out of place with what they say.
It does suck Sas, I thought my friend was the one I'd want to spend my life with. So here I am broken hearted knowing that letting him go is for the best. I refuse to be the issue that's hurting his family. I wish he had said something. How dare I have feelings, I guess. Sas, let me tell you one thing I learned in this past week. The world is never fair, the people on it don't respect others they just say what comes to their mind. Its vicious like a lot of animals going at one another to be supreme. I hope things get better, but right now I feel hurt. It feels like someone kicked me down a flight of stairs and then laughed in my face when I got upset. I don't want to lose him but in the end I can't play games. So I give up. Thank you for your kind words.

You're absolutely right. :/ There's nothing more I can say, as much as I want to say something to cheer you up, or to try. I can't think of anything. But, for what it matters, you're not alone. I've been there, likely to a lesser extent, but I have an idea of what it's like. You're not alone, you got people like us here! If you ever need anything, you know we're here for you. For what it's worth, feel better. Time heals all wounds <3