You forced my Hand [LC | Finished]

Hello and welcome!

I'm going to start off with my general issues here and then follow up with the items I am particular interested in rewarding.  So please forgive the format if it feels wonky, we don't get a ton of LC's so I am trying things out.

First, I'll just get right to the most obvious thing and comment that this is a somewhat short combat thread to bring into an LC.  Most of the time, we can assume 1 intro post with no combat and 1 exit post with minimal to no combat, so I've got about 5 rounds of combat to and choreography to judge here.

Second, I see very early that you use Danku, despite only having Journeyman rank Bakudo on your sheet.  It's possible your sheet is just not up to date but I see an edited date on Dec 6, and the Danku post was Nov 13, so I have to assume you're just writing MIrabelle as being much better at Bakudo than your skills support you claiming.  I understand the Kurohitsugi via your Mastery in Hado, and it was well done, but bare in mind your limitations as well as your strengths.

Third and final among my critical feedback, is you do not have a lot of 'give' in your combat here.  Mirabelle is relentless and really doesn't falter at all.  You sling spells all the heck over the place and sway away what Sasha attempts to do to you.  It's really just an open and shut fight from the get-go.  You're comparable in raw strength to each other strictly by the stats numbers, and your mastery is a clear advantage, but the outcome isn't even ever artificially even in question.  I did not get a tense of tension from this thread.

With that out of the way, I do explicitly want to commend you for writing your Hado with the gravity befitting someone who has a Mastery.  As someone who has spent a lot of time writing a Kido user, it's good to see you play with spellwork and not having to do so in a way that requires inventing BS Kido number way into the triple digits simply to flex your ego.  You do a great job of being very masterful of the things a Shinigami should know about Hado.  I do not say that lightly.

Additionally this is fabulous soil to plant the seeds for a rematch or further connection between these two characters.  Regardless of the situation with Sasha, you the writer do need to be commended for the care taken in setting this up.  Intent counts, not whether or not the partner comes back to take advantage of it in the future.  However, if Sasha does make a return, that will certainly sweeten the pot for any future LC.

50 for Setting the Scene--Pretty straight-forward literally chance happening.
100 for Character Development--There is some excellent framing of ideas in both your introductory posts and your closing post, but the middle of this sandwich is a bit short on meat.
200 for Choreography/Writing--This is where you excel in this request and these points are very well earned.  Do write more Kido threads please.

Total Reward: 350 GP